My Up and Down Saturday

Spent the morning with my stomach in knots. I honestly felt a little sick. Cameron's funeral was at 2:00. I knew it was going to be hard. Hard doesn't even begin to describe it. I think I started crying before the service even started. I was okay until I noticed that they had a stand down front holding his electric guitar and his best AC/DC t-shirt ... two of his favorite things in the world. The service itself was nice. At one point, the pastor said he was going to sit down and, if anyone wanted to come up and say something about Cameron, they were welcome. That was very poignant. Cameron's Dad spoke first. The tears flowed freely for me then. I even spoke a few words. I debated doing it but, when faced with circumstance where I want to do something but chicken out, I always regret it. My legs were shaking so hard I wasn't sure I could climb those two little steps to the podium, but I did. I thought the family might think it was odd that someone they don't even know was speaking. Cameron's Mom and Dad are the only ones I've ever met and they don't know me well. But that's why I wanted to talk to them. I wanted to tell them that we always found it a pleasure for Cameron to visit. The boys have some friends that make me cringe just knowing they're coming over. Not Cameron. Never. He was always well-behaved, fun to have around and was even nice to the little brother. I just wanted his family to know that there are people they never even met that thought he was pretty special.

When the service was over, we came home, changed clothes and headed to a cookout to celebrate July 4th. That was a bit of an abrupt gear-changing. Carol bought a new house and wanted to having everyone over for a cookout since she now has the space. It really was a nice afternoon and evening. We just sat and visited, played croquet and horseshoes, and visited more. I think if it had been one of those boisterous, happy-type parties, I wouldn't have been in the frame of mind to handle it. But it was low-key enough to be just the ticket. In a way, it was a gentle reminder that life goes on.

I'm still praying for Cameron's family. Cameron's Dad said that Cameron had accepted Christ and he knew without a doubt that Cameron was now in heaven with his God. I hope that thought brings them some little bit of peace in these next weeks and months.