Is there anything better, really, than a nap?

Personally, I’m not sure there is. They’re relaxing. They’re self-indulgent. They’re the perfect little break in a long, busy day. Orgasms are pretty darned great, but I’m not sure they’re better than a nap. For one thing, DH and I are no longer spring chickens. The odds on any given day of having a nap is much better than of having an orgasm. Plus, unless you’re a 16 year-old boy, orgasms take work. For a nap, all you gotta do is lay down. Nope, I think I’ll have to stick with my naps are the greatest theory. (Although orgasms probably come in second!)

My long history of naps began when I had a baby nearly 14 years ago. They were necessary then. For anyone who is up every couple of hours all night, a nap is required during the day. Then, some health issues left me with periodic fatigue. Naps, at those times, again became crucial to my mental and physical well-being.

Now, after all of this napping, it became a habit. (Don’t they say that if you do something for 14 days in a row it becomes a habit?) So, now I nap daily even when I’m not feeling fatigued. I’ll even schedule appointments around my nap if possible….

Doctor’s Office: What time of day is best for you?
Me: Mornings, please!

Hey, they asked! I don’t have to tell them that I want morning so I can be home in time for my nap! Also, I should state that I’m not one of those light-weight nappers. You know the ones ….

The Power Nappers. Sorry, 15 minutes does not a nap make. That’s resting. It doesn’t count.

The Recliner Relaxers. Sitting in the recliner after work to read the paper and falling asleep doesn’t count. That was an accident.

The Couch Crashers. Same reason as the Recliner Relaxers. Accidental doesn’t count.

The Desk Dreamers. Falling asleep at work or school NEVER counts!

I’m a serious napper. You’d think I was going to bed for the night. I close the heavy drapes so that it’s dark in the room. I get undressed. I get into the bed (on top of the covers doesn’t count either!) I sleep a good 1.5-2 hours. I set an alarm for 15 minutes before the time I need to leave to pick up the kids from school just in case. Now THAT’S a nap.

If you can’t run with the big nappers … stay up.