I'm gonna kill him and tell God he died

Lane was wanting to air up his bicycle tires this evening. He was looking for an air pump but I told him to use the air compressor. I showed him how to do it. When he was done, I told him to turn the little red valve back to the off position.

He said, "Why?"

I said, "Because I said so."

He said, "But you don't know anything. You're a woman!" And then gave me the world's biggest cat-that-ate-the-cream grin.

Lucky for him airing up a bicycle tire doesn't require the use of a tire iron. If it did, I probably would have picked it up and beaten him with it.

Then, to add insult to injury, I came inside in a huff and told his dad what he said. Steve burst out laughing.

As long as I'm murdering the kid, I might as well throw the dad in for free.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Just for the record, Levi was wise enough to keep his mouth shut.