A lot of nothing anyone will want to read

2007-04-16T08:52:00.000-06:00

I've given up on this blog. Things got nuttier and nuttier after the beta was released until my formatting is all screwed up. I tried to fix it but quickly ran out of patience. So I've started over. If you want to see even more things that no one cares to read about, plow on .... http://disuna.blogspot.com/

2007-03-18T18:21:00.000-06:00

One less nut in the world

"Crazy" Patsy passed away today.

Pasty has been friends with my parents since before I was born. In fact, I believe she knew my Dad before my Mom did. She was one of the craziest, sweetest, nuttiest, funniest, loopiest, kindest, goofiest people I've ever known. I adored her. I hadn't gotten to see her often in the last 15 years, but did have the very good fortune to see her three times in the last two. I will treasure those times, and all those times before it.

The world lost a little of its craziness today.
And, if you ask me, the world is the poorer for it.

2007-03-16T07:12:00.000-06:00

Had two proud mommy moments this week…

1) The boys had an orchestra concert Tuesday night. I know it’s not their first, but I just enjoy seeing them play more and more all the time. It’s amazing how far they’ve come. Especially Levi who’s only been playing for a year and a half. Lane also had a solo! For someone who can only play the radio, it's just amazing to me to sit and watch them creating this beautiful music.

2) Lane has been working for a vet since last summer. He does the kennel job ... cleaning kennels, feeding animals, giving meds, cleaning up the clinic, etc. He's not too crazy about it, but he wanted an income and this was one of the very few places that hire kids at 14. They recently asked him to also help out the desk clerk temporarily. He likes this MUCH better! After about a week of this, they called and wanted him to start working up front all the time! He’s really excited because he likes that job SO much more than the kennel. I talked to the boss a couple of nights ago and she was so complimentary about Lane. I know she offered him this job because he’s done such a good job so far. Makes a mommy proud.

2007-03-08T07:10:00.000-07:00

Freaky Fifteen

Today is Lane's birthday. He's not quite Sweet Sixteen yet. I decided he's Freaky Fifteen. As in ... fifteen-freaking-years-old. As in ... Freakazoid which is what I sometimes (fondly) call him. As in ... Mom's freaking out a bit as he'll be getting his restricted driver's license today. As in ... he's an electronics freak. As in ... you can still freak him out by mentioning, especially right before he goes to bed, a particular scary book he read when he was in 3rd grade. All in all, he's a pretty freaky kid. But he's my freaky kid. And I guess I'll be keeping him. After all, one of his life's goals is to become a billionaire. Wouldn't want to give up on him before that happens!

2007-03-07T07:19:00.000-07:00

One Word
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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Here's your challenge:
Have you ever tried to describe yourself in one word? One word that sort of sums up who you are, what makes you tick, what sets you apart. It's not as easy as you think. Go ahead. Describe yourself with one word. Celebrate yourself. I dare you!

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Hmmmm. Methinks this one may be too hard. No one word immediately came to mind when I read this challenge. I don't think there's really one feature about me that stands out above others. Creative? Sometimes. Funny? Sometimes. Grumpy? Often, but not always. Helpful? Sometimes. Beautiful? Sometimes. (Oh, not outside, but I've had brief internal beauty moments.) Witty? Lazy? Inspired? Moody? Goofy?

All of these words describe me at times. Admittedly, some more than others. And, no ... I'm not going to admit which ones fit most often. But, again, no one stands out above the others. My moods go to extremes as do my hobbies and interests and levels of giving of myself.

Maybe the word that best describes me is 'inconsistent'? Or, as I prefer to call it, interestingly changeable.

No, I think the one that best fits is just ..... me.

2007-02-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

Atta boy!

Levi had symphony rehearsals on Saturday afternoon. I took a book and went to the park to read while waiting for him. This park has a creek all around it and it's filled with ducks and geese. A bit of fluttering and squawking caught my attention and I noticed the following ...

A single goose came out of the creek, followed closely by two others then, a bit further behind, a single one. The first turned out to be a female, apparently in the "mood". The two right on her heels (if, that is, flippers have heels) were obviously, judging by their behavior, males. One of these caught her up and and hopped on, attempting to breed her. His efforts were forestalled by the second male who began biting at him and flapping his wings. First Male hopped off to fight off Second Male, who immediately hopped on the not-all-that-interested female. This went round and round for a few minutes. One hopping on only to be attacked by the second. All this time, the goose who had followed a way behind, sat and watched. Finally, First and Second Males appeared to forget all about the Female and concentrated on fighting each other. At this point, Third Male calmly walked around their battle ground, straight up to Female who has wandered off a bit, mounted her and bred her.

Kind of reminded me of the old story about the old bull and the young bull.

Patience is, indeed, a virtue.

2007-02-15T20:38:00.000-07:00

A Tale of Two Irregularly Sized Mailpieces

I mailed Valentine cards to my mom and mother-in-law on Monday. MIL's came back to me today with the following sticker on the front:

Return to Sender
Additional 13-cents Required for Non-machinable Surcharge

This mailpiece weighs 1 oz. or less and cannot be processed on Postal Service letter-sorting machines due to one of the following:

a. It has a square shape
b. Its height exceeds 6-1/8 inches, or its length exceeds 11-1/2 inches, or its thickness exceeds 1/4 inch.
c. Its length (dimension parallel to the address) divided by height is less than 1.3 or more than 2.5
d. It has clasps, strings, buttons, or similar closure devices
e. It is too rigid or contains items that cause uneven thickness.
f. Its address is parallel to the shorter dimension.

* Affix 13-cents additional postage, remove this label, and remail.

My unforgivable (at least in the eyes of the USPS) sin was 'a' - a square envelope. Now, is it just me, or do some of these rules seem a bit ridiculous? 'c' sounds like a problem you'd get in math class. Were you aware of all of these rules? Because I certainly wasn't. Obviously. Or I would never have chosen a square card and envelope.

Now, I do understand that a service request which causes the business to go above and beyond the call of duty costs them extra money in manpower. For example, when I worked at a bank and a customer came in wanting a copy of a check that they wrote two and a half years ago, we charged them for it. After all, an employee had to be pulled away from their regular duties to go look through rolls of microfiche (do they even use that anymore?) which was not only time-consuming, but a pain the arse. Extra work = extra fees. I understand that.

But, in this case, my question is .... why couldn't the postal employee who took this envelope out of the reject bin to plaster the big sticker on the front telling me what I did wrong and then to place it back into the outgoing mail just use that couple of seconds to hand-sort it? Wouldn't that have been just as easy? And taken about as much time?

Just another fine example customer service.

2007-02-13T09:53:00.000-07:00

Where is Mr. Darcy when we need him?

I've been becoming more and more disturbed and disgusted with a rapidly growing trend ... general rudeness. That "What I want or need is far more important than anything having to do with you" attitude. I'm sure you know the one I mean. I can't be the only one experiencing this on a daily basis. It's pervasive. If it were restricted to rude drivers or apathetic clerks, I could probably cope. But I seem to be encountering it more and more in every aspect of my life.

Rude clerks. Yep. You know ... those ones that speak to you for the first time when they give you your total, not even bothering to make eye contact. Or the ones that act like you're bothering them. Makes me want to leave my crap on the counter and walk out.

Self-centered drivers. The ones who dash quickly through the intersection behind the car in front of them at stop signs, even though it's your turn to go. Obviously, they're in a much bigger hurry than I am. Or just more important. Or the ones at the school who, instead of pulling to either curb to pick up their child like the rest of us, just pull up in the driving lane right in front of the school then proceed to sit and wait for their kid, thus effectively blocking in 20-30 others. Or the ones who refuse to let you into traffic at said school, even though you've been sitting there with your blinker on for 10 minutes. Or the ones who, when you are considerate enough to let them into traffic once you're finally able to squeeze into it, don't bother to give you the little "thank you wave". Obviously, they deserved to be let in and it is your duty to do so.

And don't even get me started on the cell phones. At a recent high school play, two cell phones rang in the first act. Okay, I can maybe see forgetting to turn yours off. But, c'mon ... these things have been out plenty long enough that people know how to use them and SHOULD know their etiquette by now. But even if you did forget to turn it off, that first one ringing should have been a loud and clear reminder to everyone else in the auditorium to check theirs. Oh, and the second one was allowed to ring and ring and ring. I'm assuming this is because its owner was embarrassed to pick it up. So, during intermission it was announced over the loud speaker to please turn off all phones and pagers, and to please not take any flash photography as it was very distracting to the actors. Wanna guess what happened in Act II? Yep. Another cell phone rang. And another person was taking flash photos. So, what part of 'turn off your cell phones and no flash photography' did these people not understand? I'm guessing they understood it fully well. But this current atmosphere of I'm the only one that matters probably made them think the rules didn't apply to them.

I have spent my boys' entire lives trying to teach them to be polite, respectful and courteous. Am I wasting my time? Will, in their future, they be considered freaks? No, surely not, as I know a number of other parents that are doing the same with their kids. And, honestly, the majority of the rudeness I've been encountering has been coming, not from self-centered teens, but from adults who should damned well know better.

I mentioned to Dotti having just finished reading Dracula by Bram Stoker. It was nice for a while to lose myself in a more Victorian world where manners were not only taught, but actually used. She suggested I read more Jane Austen to remind myself that all of those pretty manners were kind of a pain in the arse. First, I love Jane Austen. Second, I think our modern world could use a few more societal restrictions and guidelines and that more people felt compelled to follow them.

I'm sure Mr. Darcy would agree.

2007-02-09T06:32:00.000-07:00

Firsts
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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When is the first time you ...

...fell in love?

When I was 19, with my first husband.

... lost someone close to you?
My Grandma, when I was 28.

... drank alcohol?
In high school. My older brother used to have a lot of parties.

... got kissed?
When I was 15 on my first date (football game and pizza afterwards). It was nasty. He had some serious pizza breath. It was a while before I tried it again. ;-)

... went to the hospital?
When I was in 5th grade and my spleen ruptured due to a fall from a horse.

... got your heart broken?
When I was 23, when my first husband and I divorced.

... lost a pet?
When I was a senior in high school. Gordo was a peekapoo we'd had since I was three. I couldn't remember ever not having him.

... smoked a cigarette?
When I was twenty.

... broke a bone?
Never have broken one.

... got a job?
In early high school, working at a soda fountain.

... got cheated on?
About two months into my first marriage. (Explain the divorce?)

... rode the city bus?
In my twenties in Las Vegas. My small town has no public transport.

... went to a concert?
In grade school when Donna Fargo performed at a big city picnic.

... met someone famous?
Never actually met anyone very famous. Have had a few sightings.

... dyed your hair?
Never have.

... got your own cell phone?
When I was around 30 when I started having to travel for work.

... snuck out the house?
Never did. (Man, how boring am I??)

... drove a car?
Driver's ed in high school.

... got your own digital camera?
About three years ago.

2007-02-07T06:29:00.000-07:00

It depends on how you define that

About a month ago, I started playing World of Warcraft. A lot. I never thought I'd get this into a video game, but it happened. My mom worries that I'm obsessed. Steve says I'm addicted. Well, let's see. Merriam-Webster offers the following definitions:

Hobby:
: a pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation

This one sounds about right. It's certainly outside my regular occupation (taking care of the family and home) and it is my form of relaxation. When I get some free time, I hop on the computer and go kill a few murlocs or spend some time mining so I can get my level in jewel crafting up. Of course, it's not always relaxing. I'll admit that I get a little tense when I'm in a difficult area fighting higher-level monsters. Even so. It is my get-away-from-the-real-world retreat, so that makes it relaxing.

Addiction:
1 : the quality or state of being addicted
2 : compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful

Now, this is where I think we start to get a little out of hand. Compulsive? Habit-forming? Well, okay, habit-forming I can see but compulsive is going way overboard. And this game is certainly not known by this user to be harmful. Oh, well, there was that one person that died because they played it compulsively for three days, but that won't happen to me!

Obsession:
1 : a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling; broadly : compelling motivation
2 : something that causes an obsession

Nope. Uh-uh. No way. I don't think you could say I'm preoccupied with WoW. Just occupied. Big difference. BIG. Compelling motivation? Well, I am motivated to level, but not necessarily compelled to.

All in all, I would say WoW is just a harmless, little hobby. A take-me-away-from-the-real-world place into which I escape from time to time. And, really, don't we all have these little escapes? Maybe yours is losing yourself in a good book. Maybe it's scrapbooking. They're all escapes in a way. And what's wrong with that?

Plus, it has given me an insight into the boys' heads. They both play. And they both like to tell me what they've accomplished. But now, instead of just smiling and nodding absently, when Levi tells me he's looking for a Mithril vein to mine as he's trying to get his skill in engineering up to 250 so that he can craft a Gnomish Shrink Ray, I understand what he's saying.

So, I'll freely admit that the World of Warcraft has become a favorite hobby of mine recently. To call it an obsession is definitely inaccurate. An addiction? I suppose I can see where some people might think so, but really ...

I can quit any time I want to.

2007-02-05T08:03:00.000-07:00

Slide Show
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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Here's your challenge: choose a group of photos and make a slide show! Choose key photos from a single event, or showcase a collage of photos from all over the place. It doesn't matter! But choose a grouping of photos and tie them together somehow with a story or an essay or a letter.

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The following are a miscellaneous sampling of photos the boys took to enter in the fair for 4-H. Not all were winners. Not all even made the final cut to be entered. But I like them all for various reasons. Some, because they're just really good photos. Some because we had fun when we went on a "photo hunt" that day, looking for likely subjects.

Enjoy.

2007-02-02T08:07:00.000-07:00

Beautiful

[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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What defines beauty in your life? Look up the definition. Think about what "beautiful" means to you. Write about it. Whatever it is, be introspective and allow yourself to write from the heart on this one. Write it for YOU, not for your audience.

Go. Write. Be beautiful!

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Beautiful:
1 : having qualities of beauty: exciting aesthetic pleasure
2 : generally pleasing

A few things I find beautiful ........

Levi's laugh. He's normally a pretty serious child. He's nearly always a pretty quiet child. So when he laughs out loud, it's rare. And it's not a laugh, it's a giggle. It's the sweetest, funniest sound.

Lane's sense of humor. Well, most of the time. He's so quirky and off-the-wall, it's hard not to be charmed. In fact, I was pretty mad at him the other day and he knew it. He kept joking with me and I kept telling him to stop because I was mad at him and didn't want to laugh at him. It didn't work. I laughed anyway.

A certain guitar riff in the song The Dark from Tran-Siberian Orchestra's Beethoven's Last Night CD. It's so achingly poignant, I want to cry every single time I hear it.

The full moon on a snow-covered landscape.

Laugh lines.

Twilight's (one of our cats) fur. It's so perfectly, evenly black and feels like mink.

Patsy Cline's voice.

Jets.

True friendship.

The first warm breeze in the spring. You know, that first day you're comfortable being outdoors in short sleeves and that sweet, soft breeze across your skin feels more luxuriant than silk.

The boys playing their instruments.

Stephen King's books.

2007-02-01T07:50:00.000-07:00

One year, one month and eight days

A couple of years ago if you had asked me how I felt about the boys getting their driving licenses, I would have told you I was dreading it. How could I have been so silly? I can't, can't, can't WAIT for Lane to get his. I feel like I spend my whole life running back and forth. I made six trips to the high school yesterday. I only had to drive to the middle school twice for Levi, bless him.

Maybe this ramped-up level of busy-ness for high schoolers is God's way of preparing parents for their kids driving. By the time they're old enough to get that license, we're no longer worried about them driving on their own and just thrilled that we don't have to do it!

2007-01-23T09:57:00.000-07:00

Getting to Know Me
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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The challenge:
I love getting emails from blog readers, especially the ones who say, "I feel like I know you and your family." The world has become such a smaller place since Al Gore invented the internet! (bwahahahahaha!) You're challenge is to tell us 5 things about you that we don't know. Go!

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This one is kind of tough as, if you know me, you know that I'm pretty much an open book. There are very few secrets with me. (And those few are going to stay secret.) But here are a few things you might not know ....

5. I'm actually a pretty shy person. No, don't laugh! I mean it. I used to be painfully shy. I've grown out of that extreme phase, but I am still pretty shy in many situations. I can now go into any situation and talk to anyone and, usually, do it with grace and aplomb. It just doesn't come naturally.

4. I'm not as creative as you think I am. Yes, I've made some pretty amazing crafted items. But that doesn't make me creative. That makes me a skilled copier.

3. I'm not really as nice a person as you think I am. Oh, sure, you hear about all the things I do for my mom and my mother-in-law, amongst others. But I often do these things with a resentful heart (mostly at my siblings for their lack of help). In my mind, doing good works doesn't make one a good person. Doing them with a cheerful heart does. I often don't.

2. This one is mostly to my family. I think my friends already know it ... I'm smarter than you think I am. There are those of you who treat me like I'm an idiot. I think much of this springs from being a SAHM, and not having some high-powered job. News flash: My I.Q. didn't drop when my income did.

And the number one thing my friends probably don't know about me ....

1. At night, when the kids are in bed, the dishes are done and the dog let out for the last time I dress up in skin-tight leather and head out into a nearby forest. Once there, I slay rabid bears, which I then skin to craft my ever-improving set of leather armor. I defeat evil encroachers, defend innocents and escort messengers through this dangerous forest. A while ago, I actually learned to shape-shift into a bear. I recently learned to shift into a seal and a panther as well. All of these forms help me greatly in my pursuit of justice and loot (which I admittedly take off the dead bodies).

2007-01-19T22:19:00.000-07:00

Catching up ...

So, a friend e-mailed today and wanted to know why I haven't blogged in so long. Well, this @*%&^# blogger won't let me in, that's why! I've had troubles logging in since I tried the beta, but have been able to get on in a round-about way. Then even that stopped. But I finally found a round-round-about way and here I am. So, in a nutshell, here's my last few weeks:

Christmas was good. Survived both nutty families. Even psycho sister-in-law didn't make too many waves. Well, other than completely dominating every aspect of the food for the weekend and overturning every single idea MIL and I had as far as food went. But, compared to some tricks she's pulled, that was barely enough nuttiness to notice.

Got the kids back to school. I really enjoyed the break. Liked sleeping in. Hated sharing the computer with them.

Had my mom back in the hospital for another angiogram. The doc didn't find anything at all wrong with the heart. This was both good and bad news. Good because, well, her heart is good. Bad because we were kind of hoping they would find something they could fix that would make her feel better. That they didn't means she's declining and now we all have to face that.

Spent a week under ice. Last weekend's sleet is still all over most places and melting so slowly as to barely be noticeable. It melted a smidge yesterday and today. Snow is predicted for tomorrow. Go figure.

Got Sunny declawed. Within five minutes of being back home he tried to sharpen his claws on the couch but could only rub it a bit, and tried his typical jump-three-fourths-of-the-way-up-the-couch-and-climb-the-rest-of-the-way routine, and fell flat on his furry little butt. Poor guy will probably panic the next time we take him the the vet. Every time he goes there, he loses a body part.

Found a badly injured cat the day of the sleet. Rushed him to the vet despite his protests (had to wrap him up in Levi's coat to even catch him). Found out it would cost $750 to heal him, and there was no guarantee he would ever really be right. Not to mention that I'm pretty sure he was a feral cat. Cried and cried when making the decision to put him to sleep, despite the fact that he wasn't even my pet! Cried even more when I got the bill for $100.

And that, in a nutshell, is my last few weeks. Hopefully, now that I've found a new way to trick this @((*%&^@ blogger into letting me in, I'll be back soon.

2006-12-24T20:50:00.000-07:00

I guess he doesn't after all

Since Lane got his permit in June, I've teased him that he drives like a little, old lady. He's a very safe driver. A very law-abiding driver. A very slooooow driver.

We were running errands today and he was driving. We were just moseying along a residential street where, I'm pretty sure, no passing is allowed. Still, he did get passed. By a silver-haired, could-hardly-see-over-the-steering-wheel, 80-years-old-if-she-was-a-day woman. I nearly split a seam laughing.

So, apparently he doesn't drive like a little, old lady. He drives even slower than one!

2006-12-21T07:16:00.000-07:00

Psycho Sister-In-Law Takes Over
or How the Grinch Controlled Christmas

Gee, it’s been a while since I’ve had a psycho sister-in-law post, hasn’t it? Oh, not that there haven’t been issues. But sometimes there are Just. No. Words. Couldn’t resist this one, though. The following are actual excerpts form e-mails between psycho sister-in-law (PSIL), mother-in-law (MIL) and myself. I should probably explain that PSIL and I have BOTH been highly irritated with MIL in the past as, when we’re all getting together, she often says, “You girls figure out what we’re going to have to eat!” Um, it’s YOUR house honey. It’s YOUR family. You figure it out. Or at least discuss it with us. But, especially after this round, I’ve realized that she doesn’t bother because she knows PSIL will just change it anyway. Here we all are planning food for our Christmas weekend:

PSIL: Oh yeah... do we need to kinda start planning Christmas dinner yet? Let me know.

Me: I guess we could start. How do we want to do it – one big dinner then snacking stuff? Only snacking stuff? Just eat candy and cookies all weekend? We’re okay with whatever everyone else wants to do. And, Hazel, no fair saying “you girls figure it out!” It’s your house so you need to give input, too!
[Note the last sentence. At this point, I’m not going to let her get away with just leaving it all to her two daughters-in-law!]

MIL: About what to fix for Christmas gathering; I am open to suggestions. I thought perhaps we just have sandwiches, dips/chips, salads and desserts. Shall we have soups too and if so what kinds?
[Sandwiches are SO not my favorite, but at least she’s getting involved – making suggestions. That’s good.]

PSIL: About Christmas dinner, I think a Ham, potatoes, corn and rolls would be ok. That is just my opinion (ok, Bryan thinks we should have a nice sit down meal because you always used to) and as far as desserts, I am bringing my usual. Frosted Sugar Cookies, White Chocolate Pretzels, Choc. Chip cookies and what ever else I think of. We can make different dips and such to snack on the rest of the weekend.
[And so it begins. MIL makes a suggestion, PSIL overturns her.]

Me: Okay you two. Hazel says sandwiches, etc. and Rhonda says dinner. None of us cares which. I guess we’ll let you two fight it out and you can let us know what to bring!
[Diana decides to let them hash it out.]

PSIL: Actually it wasn't me. It was Bryan that said, and I quote, "We need to have one nice dinner, then the rest of the weekend, you (being me) can cook some steaks and everyone just bring snack things" You know me, I don't really care what we have as long as it is food, fattening and lots of it.
[Oh, well if you’re going to “quote” him, that’s different! And, for someone who doesn’t care what we have, you’re making lots of suggestions. By all means, let’s all do what Bryan - you know, the one not doing any of the food preparation – wants. But I’m still playing get-along.]

Me: We’re easy to please with the food thing. I’m like Rhonda – as long as there’s food, I’m happy! So, Rhonda, are you going to bring the ham, then? How about if I bring chili for Saturday night, tortilla roll-ups and some kind of dip/chips? Anything else??
[Note how, in the last message, PSIL suggests ham, but doesn’t offer to bring it. Note how, in this message, I make the oh-so-subtle suggestion that, if she and Bryan think we have to have ham, maybe they should bring ham.]

MIL: Christmas dinner/sit-down one is fine with me. Food: Ham, mashed potatoes or that potato casserole? green bean casserole? I will make the jello salad, have rolls, desserts? I will make the chocolate sheet cake what pies would you all like?
[Again, ham is fine, but no one’s bringing it. MIL suggests other foods to have with dinner, but doesn’t offer to make them. I’m starting to wonder if I need to bring the entire dinner as everyone else is suggesting things for the main meal, but not offering to bring them! And I should point out that I’ve copied their messages verbatim, not fixing spelling or punctuation.]

PSIL: I think on Saturday, we will do the ham, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, corn and rolls. Then open gifts. Saturday evening, we can just eat what ever is there. On Sunday, I am going to roast a beef tenderloin around noonish.
[So, my suggestion of chili for Saturday night is obviously out. And still, PSIL has not offered to bring the ham, potatoes, green bean casserole or corn that she says we will have for dinner. Nor has MIL. Again, does this mean *I’m* supposed to bring all this?]

Me: I guess chili is out. Also, I was going to bring chips/dip but Rhonda you said you would. Should I bring another kind or just something different all together? How about when we’re doing the main dinner? Last I heard Rocque wouldn’t be there till Sunday. Did that change? I’m so confused. Someone please just tell me what to bring for sure!
[At this point, I'm getting thoroughly sick of the whole thing. I did have to point out that, although we had previously planned to wait for dinner and gifts till Sunday, PSIL had to change that as well.]

PSIL: As for dinner. I think we are going to skip the ham as Bryan wants me to roast a beef tenderloin. We will bring that. If you want baked taters, cheezy taters, corn, what ever else, I don't care. I am open to anything. I bought some sweet and savory buttered King's Hawaiian Rolls also. I am just bringing a ranch original dip with plain chips for Friday and Sat. It wouldn't be Christmas without your dip Di. Now all we need to figure out is what we are doing on Saturday for food. Chili? Cheese and Crackers? Little Smokies?
[I am so freakin’ confused! Now ham is out. Side dishes are in but still no offer to bring them. So do I go back to my plan of making chili? PSIL is bringing rolls even though MIL offered to get them. What’s funny is that she’s asking what to do Saturday when we theoretically had that figured out long ago – chili Saturday, big dinner Sunday. Why didn’t we just stop then?]

Next year, my guys and I are going to Colorado the whole week of Christmas. We will not see either family. We will not exchange gifts with them. We certainly will not plan dinners with them. We will call and say “Merry Christmas” and be done with it!

2006-12-18T22:01:00.000-07:00

Kidisms

Who are these kids and where do they come up with this stuff?

We grabbed a quick lunch from Wendy's yesterday. Levi was looking at the bag which was proudly proclaiming Wendy's new "healthier" menu. He was unimpressed. He snorted, "Oh, yeah. This is a real healthy menu. There's a kids meal with fried chicken nuggets, fruit and milk and a salad with diet meat." Um, diet meat?? "Yeah, that low-fat meat." You mean grilled chicken? "Yeah, that."

Tonight, driving home we noticed a house with Christmas lights and a big, blow-up Scooby Doo on the porch. Not even Scooby in a Santa hat. Just Scooby. Lane, ever quick with the derision, thought this was stupid. "You put CHRISTMAS up during the Christmas season and Scooby up during Scooby season." Um, and exactly when IS Scooby season?? He wasn't quite sure when it is, but he's quite sure that it is not in December.

2006-12-17T22:43:00.000-07:00

The Wizards

My guys and I went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert on Friday night. I wish I were a skilled wordsmith so I could fully describe what it's like seeing them live. We saw them last year and really liked them. It was five times better this year. I think that's because, when we first saw them, we'd only been listening to them for about a month. This year, we were much more familiar with their music so seeing it performed live made even more of an impact.

We were on the floor in the second section back from the stage. There were times we could literally feel the bass thumping in our chests. I'm not sure it would have been good for someone with a pacemaker. Or, maybe it would have been exceptionally good!

TSO's music is, to me, so innovative, so new, so like nothing else out there. And it converted me to electric guitar. I never liked rock music that had lots of screeching electric guitar. But I'm totally enamored of TSO's guitars. Plus, I'm a total traditionalist when it comes to Christmas music. My theory has always been 'leave it alone'! I've never liked it jazzed up or changed around or made the artist's own. So, to me, if a group can totally rock up Christmas music and leave me enchanted, they are truly skilled artists.
Hearing the music on CD doesn't even come close to comparing to hearing it live. Of course, the laser light show and pyrotechnics add a lot, but just being there and feeling that powerful music wash over and through you, truly makes it an experience that actually is an experience. The bass becomes a heartbeat. Your heartbeat. The guitars make your blood sing, ebbing and flowing with their rhythms from hard driving to sweetly poignant. The strings weave subtly in and out, pulling you along with them. The piano punctuates, exclaiming their greatness. And the voices. The voices, from the sweetly angelic to the sultry, the powerfully commanding to the smoke-and-bourbon growl, all captivate.

I'm already counting the days until I can see them next year. And the next year. And the next ...

Listen to TSO here: http://www.trans-siberian.com/multimedia/index.shtml

2006-12-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

Put in on sale and they will come

I was on the way home last night and the boys called saying they each needed a 3-ring binder. I stopped at a store I thought would have them. Once there, I see signs stating that EVERYTHING in the store is on sale! 30% off. How cool! I mean, stores often have sales but some things are always excluded. When do you ever see a store where every single item is on sale? Rarely. And the shoppers were flocking. While looking for the binders, I roamed up and down each aisle to see if there were any bargains I couldn't stand to miss. The longer I wandered, the more tickled I got. Seriously, by the end I was close to just laughing out loud. Why? Because this was the DOLLAR STORE. And it was packed with shoppers. I mean, that was a whole whopping thirty cents off each item. Now, I love a bargain as much as the next gal, but thirty cents?? This really struck my funny bone. Plus, the checkout lady was counting the little place mats I bought. She counted five, but I only had four. Still, no way was I going to say, "Oh, you overcharged me seventy cents here!" I just overpaid and left. Laughing all the way.

2006-12-11T08:45:00.000-07:00

Fill In The Blank
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

1. My current favorite song is: Wizards of Winter by Trans-Siberian Orchestra

2. The last book I read was: Lisey's Story by Stephen King

3. The last book I bought was: Dracula by Bram Stoker

4. The last cd I bought was: TSO's The Forgotten Christmas Eve

5. Another CD I wanted but didn't buy is: can't think of one

6. Right now, I'm wearing: Cargo pants and ... um, do you know me at all? If so, you already know it's a white shirt.

7. The last gift I bought was: Oh, geez. It's Christmas time! I shopped all day last Tuesday. Couldn't begin to say what the last one was. How about this, the next one I buy will be a scrapbook for mom.

8. The last time I laughed heartily and loudly: At that stupid "Ode to Christmas" poem I got on e-mail yesterday.

9. My favorite holiday ornament is: My treetop angel. It was one of Mom's Storybook Dolls from childhood. She was Little Bo Peep. Mom used a great aunt's eyelet underskirt to make her a dress. She's about 60 years old now.

10. My house smells like: The WONDERFUL coffee candle Stacey gave me for my birthday at this end ... litterbox at the other. (Forgot to have Levi change his kitten's box this weekend!) I think I'll stay at this end of the house.

11. The first thing on my to-do list tomorrow is: Get out of bed.

12. If I could sit on Santa's lap and believe that he'd bring me whatever toy I wished for, I'd ask for: Depending on what Santa looks like under that beard, I'm might be getting it already if I was sitting on his lap.

13. If I could holiday shop in ONE store, all expenses paid, I'd shop at: Nebraska Furniture Mart!

14. If an angel alighted on my doorstep today and said, "I'm here to grant a Christmas wish," I'd wish for: A saner family

15. When I see a bell ringer while out shopping, I: Think, "Oh, crap."

2006-12-08T07:37:00.000-07:00

Open Letters

[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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The challenge:
Write 5 open letters. People, places, objects, animals. It doesn't matter. Write 5 succinct letters and express what you can't express in person. Strangers? People you'll never see again? People you're afraid to be completely honest with? Corporations? Celebrities? Your sister's cats? Write to 'em. Angry? Disgusted? Enthralled? Amused? In awe? Annoyed? Admiring?Write about it. 5 of 'em. Let it all out. Have fun!

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(Sorry - having troubles with formatting again. Can't get it to fix and no time right now.)

Dear Mom,

You need help with some things. I am willing to help with some things. However, you are NOT helpless! You can make that phone call yourself. That's why I told you to do it yourself.

Dear Sis,

I know you see Mom as my, and mine alone, responsibility. I know you think it's funny that I've kind of gotten "stuck" with her care and feeding. Guess what? That's gonna change. Next year. I'll be calling a family meeting. It's gonna PISS you off. But I'm gonna do it anyway.

Dear MIL,

Just a question for you. Why is it you're able to drive 45 minutes to go shopping, but not able to drive the 1.5 hours here to attend the boys' concerts? Why is it you're never able to drive down for birthday parties and sporting events but, by cracky, when we (read: your loving son) invites you (again) to go on vacation with us, you ALWAYS manage to make the trip here so that you can?? Hmmmm.

Dear Holiday Shoppers,

Please be kind. Please be considerate. I know you're stressed. I am, too. But parking your cart right in the middle of the freakin' aisle and ignoring me as I try to pass until I finally, loudly say "EXCUSE ME!" isn't the way to deal with it. Being rude to the poor checkout clerks isn't the way to deal with it. Being growly, grumpy, grouchy or just generally pissy, is not the way to deal with it. Oh, and Merry Christmas to you, too.

Dear Sunny,

Please allow me to disavow you of the illusion that we put up the Christmas tree for your entertainment. We did not. It's for us. You may look it it, but you may not play with it. Do not climb it. Do not hang from its branches. Do not bat its balls. It's not for you. Lay off!

Very sincerely yours,

Diana

2006-12-05T08:08:00.000-07:00

You say "Freak" like that's a bad thing!

I'm a scrapper. And I'm a Mom. Which means I go about armed with a camera. I'm a kind of a memory soldier... marching to the front of auditoriums, halting the kids by interesting landmarks for a quick snap, invading spaces they're prefer I not. All in the pursuit of capturing memories. I have been told by them, on more than one occasion, that I'm a freak.

A couple of nights ago I was cleaning out a crap-stacking-spot. One of those out of the way areas that's easy to ignore. I came across Lane's 4th grade composition notebook. I read a few well chosen stories from it aloud to the boys. We were all having quite a laugh. Then Lane wanted to know if I had any of Levi's stories? You know, so we could laugh at him, too. I directed them to the storage box in my closet that contains many of their school papers, pre-school through last year, tidily sorted by year and filed away. They drug the box out and spent a couple of hours going through these, reading aloud, showing each other their "artwork", laughing their butts off.

Afterwards, Lane gave me a hug and told me that maybe being a freak wasn't such a bad thing after all.

2006-11-26T17:11:00.000-07:00

Two Virgins Do Wichita

On Thanksgiving, we were looking through the sale circulars for Black Friday. Lane asked why it was called that and, in explaining, I also explained how people get nutty and go to the stores at 5 a.m. Lane thought that sounded fun. Huh? But he got excited about it and his enthusiasm was contagious. I agreed that we should shop.

So, not-so-bright-and-early on Friday, Lane and I, two former Black Friday Virgins, hit Wichita. We shopped Radio Shack, Best Buy, Wal Mart, Target and Bath & Body Works. I didn't find the two main things I went for (dratted early worm shoppers!), but did find comparable items. The best parts of the day:

* Getting a 2 gb SD card for $30
* Getting $65 worth of stuff at B&BW for $23
* Getting to stop at Starbucks for a Peppermint Mocha latte
* Seeing Lane put Shopping Cart Slug in her place

See, Lane is a bit of a shopping cart Nazi. He HATES it when people leave them wherethehellever, instead of taking them to the cart return. We were just coming down the aisle at Target and spotted an empty spot near one of those little median things. A lady was trying to get her cart up onto the grassy area of this median. She gave up and left the butt of it sticking out into the parking space. She started walking away just as we go to the space. Lane jumped out of the van, YANKED the cart off the curb and very pointedly pushed it to the cart return, rattling and shaking it the whole way in an attempt to ensure that Cart Slug would see him. Not sure if she got the point, but I got a heck of a laugh out of it!

Did we have fun Black Friday shopping? Yes. Would I do it again? I'm not sure. Ask me next year.

2006-11-21T07:48:00.000-07:00

Nice people ROCK

I seem to be having lots of encounters with "takers" lately. You know the ones. People who expect the world but give very little, if anything. It's frustrating. And it's depressing.

But then ....

I am reminded that there are truly nice people out there. Lane just finished his high school's play, "Little Shop of Horrors". Being a scrapper, I've been dying to go to rehearsals and take photos of him in his light booth. Being a high school boy, he was somewhat against that. I refrained, but it was painful. Yesterday, he came home with a CD filled with photos. Hundreds of them. Mr. B has been taking photos from rehearsals, performances and parties all along. And he burned them all to CD for each of the kids. And there were lots of kids involved. That's a lot of CDs to copy.

Lane's school also had a debate tournament last weekend. They were short of judges so Lane got on the phone and called neighbors. He was able to fill nine more sessions. Wayne S., Gene S. and Christi R. all agreed to judge.

Now, bear in mind that none of these people have a vested interested in these activities. I also judged the tournament, but my kid was involved and would get docked on his grade if he didn't get at least two judges. But these people did these deeds because they're nice. Because they give back. Because they care. Kind of restores my faith in humanity.

Nice people rock!

2006-11-18T20:01:00.000-07:00

Debate

I judged my first debate tournament today. I thought it might get boring, but it was actually pretty interesting. And very tiring. Imagine listening to six hours of kids debating the draft, Peace Corps, Don't Ask/Don't Tell.

I can't tell you how difficult it was for me not to:
a) Ask any questions
b) Interject any arguments of my own
c) Refrain from telling some they made a brilliant point
d) Refrain from telling others they were idiots

Those of you who know me know how difficult it was for ME to listen, for six solid hours, to other people talk and not say a word other than "Let's begin" and "Thank you. Good job everyone." In fact, you probably can't even imagine it. But I did it. Really! I did!

2006-11-10T09:26:00.000-07:00

Ah, the sweet sound of ????

You know you're a parent and accustomed to having kids around when ...
you come home, all alone, the house is blissfully quiet. You make a fresh cup of coffee, flip the TV on for background noise and settle down at the computer to catch up on e-mails and Scrap Share. Ah, heaven. And then, twenty minutes later, you realize that you've been listening to SpongeBob SquarePants all this time. And the thing is, the kids are gone so you don't HAVE to.

Funny what one gets used to hearing, and tuning out, when one has kids.

2006-11-08T08:49:00.000-07:00

Attitude Adjustment
(Or would that be cattitude??)

Sunny just got home from the vet. He got neutered yesterday. Surprisingly, he's still speaking to me today. I don't know that I would be that generous were the roles reversed. He came home with a list of instructions for his post-surgery care:

* Give him limited exercise
* Keep him from jumping
* Keep him from licking the site

Someone please explain to me exactly how one stops a 5 month old kitten from doing these things? Lock him up? Does he need to live in his carrier for the next week? Sheesh.

Oh, and then there's this:

"Please check his incision daily for any swelling, redness or discharge." Yeah, just the area I of a cat I want to study closely on a daily basis. Methinks the kid that works at the vet should get this job!!

Sorry, Sunny. We love ya but those nuts had to go. Forgive us.

2006-11-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

Scared
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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The challenge:

With Halloween upon us, tell us about a time in your life when you were scared. Shaking, screeching, frozen, trembling, crying, sick-to-your-stomach, whatever scared. Maybe you were a child, maybe you were an adult, maybe it was a nightmare, maybe it was a job interview. Whatever. You've been scared before. Tell us!

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I've been scared a lot in my life. I'm actually a bit of a fraidy cat. Most people don't know that. I (think?) I hide it pretty well. When one has a family, one knows fear. Fear when the baby's fever goes up and won't come down. Fear when your husband is very late coming home and you haven't heard from him. Fear when your parents start getting older. Fear abounds when one cares about other people.

But apparently I'm a sucker for punishment. I actually seek it out. I watch scary movies. And they scare the pee out of me. I'm not one of those that watches them then forgets them. Oh, no. They stay with me. I'll find myself thinking about them in the days following. I'll find myself jumping at little things and imagining whatever evil creature was featured in the latest one lurking around corners, waiting for me. In a way, it's kind of stupid to do this to oneself. But harmless fear is great fun. You get the adrenaline rush of skydiving without the risk. The most scared I've been at a movie in recent years was probably watching The Blair Witch Project. At the drive-in. All by myself.

Sucker.

2006-11-02T09:51:00.000-07:00

The Feel-Good Season

I love this time of year. I love the holidays. Halloween - and if you've read my blog at ALL you already know this - is a particular favorite. Thanksgiving is loads of fun, too. I love the back-to-routine that school brings before we get sick of the routine. But the weather. Oh, the weather. Nothing feels better to me than sleeping in a cold room with open windows all snuggled down in warm covers. The brisk mornings and evenings invigorate. The warm, sunny afternoons with that underlying cool makes the senses awaken. Even the animals are friskier. We've shed the heat and oppressive humidity of summer and the freshening air is like an awakening to me.

We're experiencing gorgeous color this year. Our area of the country is not one of those that draws leaf peepers. But this year, it could. The range of colors from still-green to nearly burgundy defies description. The leaves fall from trees like vibrantly-colored rain and swirl along behind passing cars like botanical confetti. It makes one just want to stand outside, eyes closed, face to the sun and say, "Thank you, God."

2006-10-25T21:39:00.000-06:00

Do-Over
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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The challenge:"If I had it all to do over again, I would do most all things differently. However, how would I know that, if I had not had the opportunity to do them the first time." - Janice Markowitz

In golf, there's this thing called a Mulligan. Basically, if your golfing buddies agree to let you have it, it's your chance to try again without a penalty. It's a do-over. We don't get many Mulligans in life. But if we did ... if there was one Mulligan you could take - one do-over - what would it be?

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First thought ... I've made so darned many mistakes in my life that choosing just one to Mulligan would be really difficult. Upon further reflection, I realize that even the big mistakes have played a part in making me who I am today. Would I really want to change that? What part of me would I remove because I deleted the experience that taught me that lesson or affected that part of my personality or possibly even changed my life's path?

For instance, in some ways, one of the biggest mistakes of my life was my former marriage. And yet, my current life may well be a direct result of that. See, if I had never married him, I would never have met Kelly. If I hadn't met Kelly, I would never have gone to her sister's Halloween party many years later after we were both divorced. If I had never gone to the sister's Halloween party, I never would have met Steve. If I had never met Steve, I wouldn't be married to him today and have these two incredible kids. Would I change that? Absolutely not! And yet, if I'd never made the mistake of that first marriage, it's quite likely it would never have happened.

While it would be hugely tempting to me to take back one of my former mistakes, I think the best thing for me to do would to be to not. Who knows what other part of me I would lose along with that mistake? It's just not worth the risk.

2006-10-24T22:17:00.000-06:00

A Man and his Machine

Sometimes, you feel like all your work raising your kids has come to fruition. Lane just bought his very first vehicle. He's only 14.5 but has been working for a vet 2-3 afternoons per week for about 2 hours each. He's been saving almost every paycheck for a vehicle. Dad and I agreed to match what he could pay. His wants? Something reliable. He didn't care all that much how it looked. He just wanted something to get him back and forth to work and school. I was pleased that he wasn't being one of those kids who "demands", and gets, a brand-new car. (You know the ones I mean). He's been very sensible.

Knowing that he didn't want to spend much, we started looking very early. He won't get his restricted license till next March but we started looking for trucks a couple of months ago. Decent vehicles in his preferred price range are not easy to find. But luck was on our side on Sunday. We just happened to drive down the right street on the right day and saw this little beauty. We stopped, we looked, we drove, we brought him home.

Now, all that's left to do is teach Lane to drive a 5-speed. He's been practicing. I think I have whiplash. But he's catching on. And he's very, very excited to have his very own truck.

2006-10-23T10:29:00.000-06:00

Halloween Freakishness, continued

As promised, here are photos of the things that didn't show well in the night photos.

Spiders. The porch is covered in them. And webs. My mom hates it.

And the tombstones in the day so you can read them. The material was a "found" treasure. We had tile laid about four years ago. We've had this leftover cement board in our garage since then. I decided it was the perfect color and material for tombstones. They already look old, just by their natural color. All I had to do was draw on the words with magic marker. The lines I drew can be seen in these photos, but they don't show from the street. Full credit for shapes and most of the epitaphs goes to Scott Messinger at http://hometown.aol.com/smessin983/Halloween/Index.html?f=fs . Thanks, Scott!

Yeah, they're kind of messy but I purposely didn't measure when cutting. I wanted them to be a bit "off". Oh, and this one on the left was made especially for Steve. He found it funny for some reason.

2006-10-22T22:08:00.000-06:00

And what does this say about me??

I love Halloween. Always have. As a kid, I loved the dressing up in a costume and really loved the candy. In my teens and twenties, I loved the spooky movies. Now, I love it all. I especially love the decorations. When the boys were little, we had several cute things. As they've gotten older, cute as given way to gruesome. Or, at the very least, uncute.

As you may have read in a recent blog post, an article in our local paper specifically naming a house IT thought had great Halloween decorations spurred me on to add more things to my outdoor display. And now, being me, I want to add even more. I have a few ideas that I either ran out of time or money to create for this year. Be on the lookout next year.

For now, here is how my yard looks ....

The porch, in general. Lots of red and purple lights. A few of those fake jack-o-lanterns. The ones with scary faces, of course. Not the cute ones. What you can't see is the spiders everywhere. (I forgot to take daytime photos. Will try to remember to add those tomorrow.) Lane has all the lights hooked up to a programmable light box and the different sets come on, go off, flicker and dim at various times.

Levi informed me this evening that these silhouettes look "too cheesy" but I've had them for years and loved them for years, so they stay. I'd really like to find four more so that I have them in all of the street-facing windows.

The previous items we've had for a while. The rest is new. I have a couple of these creepers hanging in trees in dark areas of the yard. The spotlights just barely pick them up so they look faint and spooky in the dark. Had to use the flash here or he wouldn't show up.

Our own personal demon, standing watch over the cemetery.

The cemetery. I'll post daylight photos of the tombstones tomorrow. Some of them crack me up.

Busy witch, cooking up some kind of brew.

Close-up of her face as I was proud of my flash of inspiration. I put bicycle reflectors behind the eyes of the mask so they would glow red when lights hit them! These are shining from the camera flash.

And just a (very) few of my favorite indoor things...

This is for you SSers. See The Spooky Scrapbook?

Yeah, I get a little into Halloween. It's just too much fun not to. But I kind of have to wonder what the neighbors think? And what they think all this says about me?

2006-10-18T09:08:00.000-06:00

And now let's play ...
"What the hell is that Smell?"

Ever play this game? It's hugely frustrating. And yet it must be played. A random bad Smell in the house cannot be left to its own devices. And, yes, I meant to capitalize it. A Smell is a vivid and definite living thing.

Day one, I began playing WTHITS. At first, it's very subtle. A faint whiff. What was that?? But now it's gone and one goes about one's business. But later, there it is again. The Smell. At this point, one usually starts searching. If you've ever played this game, you know what it looks like. One wanders about the general vicinity of the Smell because, if you could identify the specific location, you could identify the Smell. So you play bloodhound, nose to the ground, sniffing around like a penniless cocaine addict looking for a few left-over grains. During these searches, one will often sniff things that are, really, never meant to be sniffed. Admit it ... you've actually stuck your nose into a trash can and taken a big whiff! You know you have.

On day two, the hunt continued for my Smell. I thought it was either spoiled meat or decomposing small animal. Yes, I've smelled both. The former after an unfortunate forgot-a-grocery-bag-in-the-car incident. The latter because our darling cat occasionally brings the results of her hunts inside and caches them for future use.

Early on day three, I finally identified my Smell. When I was doing laundry. Note to self: In the future, when you spill a half a plateful of blood from the thawing out roast onto the floor and wipe it up with a wet cloth, RINSE THE STUPID CLOTH BEFORE PUTTING IT INTO THE LAUNDRY HAMPER!!

Smell solved. Lesson learned.

2006-10-15T22:12:00.000-06:00

I can hear the tantrum now

You've heard me talk about my psycho sister-in-law. She just keeps getting better and better. I just don't usually bother to write about it. Most of the time there are just. no. words. But I got a bit of a sadistic giggle today.

See, SIL's latest antic is to have become addicted to Internet bingo. Seriously addicted. Her hubby says he never sees her any more as, every minute she's home and awake, she's in the bedroom on the computer playing bingo. Mother-in-law even says she never talks to her when BIL and SIL visit her as SIL stays in the other room on the computer playing bingo the whole time. Nearly two months ago BIL told me that SIL has racked up winnings over $3,500 to that point. (I can't tell you how skeptical I was of that but I really like BIL so kept my mouth shut.)

Now, bear in mind that SIL (and BIL, of course) are way over their heads in debt. They have even had to borrow five figures from MIL over the years. But, with all these winnings, has she paid MIL a dime extra? Do you even need me to answer that? She continues to be two weeks late on the $100/month payment on the riding mower that she INSISTED on buying from MIL. Oh, they already had one. SIL thought they needed two so she and BIL can each have one. Whatthehellever.

My point? I just heard today that the Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act was passed. In fact, I heard from the very same website that SIL plays bingo on as I created an account there to check it out. She'll no longer be able to gamble online. Not legally anyway. I can only imagine the shitfit she threw when she got that same e-mail.

Gosh. I couldn't feel sorrier for her.
(Did that sound sincere?!?)

2006-10-10T07:39:00.000-06:00

Desert Island Books
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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The challenge:
"If you were stranded on a desert island, what three books would you want to have with you?" My challenge to you is to answer that question, and then answer these as well: Why those three books?

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I'd really, really like to cheat here and take book series, but I'll try to be good. (But, if I did, the Sword of Truth, Harry Potter and Dark Tower series would be my three!)

I probably should say the Bible. I've never read it through. While I think, being stranded, I would most definitely need faith and inspiration, I don't think I'd really need its teachings. I mean, finding sin on a desert island is going to be pretty tough. I don't think I'd need God's help staying out of the bars or coveting my neighbor's new Tahoe. Sinful thoughts would probably get to be a problem, but I'm thinking God would understand those under the circumstances.

So, no Bible. What would I take?

First, I would take Stephen King's The Stand. I've just finished my fifth re-reading of that book. I read it twice in its original version. Then the uncut version was released and I have read that one three times. And I've never tired of it over the years. It's HUGE, which would make the reading time last. The characters are wonderful. It's well written, smooth and flowing, and just a darned good story.

Second, the Lord of the Rings. No, don't say I'm cheating as that's three books. It's really only one. Tolkien himself said it was never intended to be a trilogy. It's one novel with three "books" in it. So it counts. Why would I take that one? Because I've never read it. Loved the movies. Have tried to read the book a couple of times but it's boooooooring! The story part is great but I have no interest in who Legolas' great-great-great-great-grandsire was. Too much back story. BUT, since I'm going to be all alone on a desert island, I'll finally have the time and lack of distractions to get through it. And I would like to get through it some day.

Last, some kind of survival guide. Hey, I watch Survivor. I know that people only think they can whip up a fire and build a water-tight shelter. The practicalities of actually doing so always prove much more difficult than the average Joe (or Jane) thinks. I'm gonna need to read up on that stuff. And if that guide happens to have a "How to get off a desert island if you're stranded" chapter, so much the better. But I might wait to read that one until I'd finally finished the LOTR.

2006-10-05T09:00:00.000-06:00

How to light a fire under my ass

I love Halloween. Love the season. Love the scary movies on TV. Love the decorations. Love, love, LOVE the decorations. But not the cute ones. Oh, those are fine for others. But I want the spooky stuff at my house. I've got a decent set of decs going, but have been meaning to build a graveyard for outside for the last few years.

A couple of days ago our newspaper had a little article about fall decorations going up all over town. They showed a cute, little set-up of a couple of hay bales and scarecrows. *snort* BUT, they also listed an address that they claimed had a great spooky display. Well, Lane and I being total Halloweenies promptly jumped in the car and headed over. We were gravely disappointed. There was stuff, one could tell, but one could not see it at night. Still, giving them the benefit of the doubt, we drove by the next day in full daylight. Better, but just okay. There were a few neat things but they were smallish and the cars lining the side of the street in front of the house blocked most of the view of them. And they got a mention in the paper?? *harumph*

So, guess what I've been doing last night and this morning? If you guessed that I've been manically cutting out tombstones for my soon-to-be graveyard, you would be right! I'll show that darned paper what a real Halloween display looks like! PLUS, my display looks good in the day with all the webs and spiders, but it also looks good at night with all the lights and window silhouettes. Nothing like a little theirs-is-better-than-yours to get me motivated!

Photos to be posted upon completion.

2006-10-03T09:28:00.000-06:00

No Consequences
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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The challenge:
If you could live one day without consequences, what would you do? Would you get a tattoo just to see what it was like? Would you skip work or school and sleep all day? Would you have a one-night-stand, or would you buy a yacht, or would you tell your parents what you REALLY think of them? If you could live one day without consequences, what would you do?

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First, we'd sleep really, really late. The boys would be skipping school and Steve would be skipping work and no one would even call in.

Next, I'd have a double extra large chocolate-covered cherry mocha latte and raw chocolate chip cookie dough for breakfast. And I wouldn't even feel sick. And, not only would I not gain weight, but all that sugar would kick my metabolism into high gear and I'd lose 10 pounds.

Once we were all finally up and about, around noon or so, we'd head for Wichita. We'd hit Best Buy where I'd get that iPod Video, Nikon digital camera, flat-screen plasma TV and Dyson Animal I've had the lust, but not the budget, for. Levi would get a Video, too. Lane would get the super-duper video card and processor he's dying for. All of it would go on the credit card. None of it would get paid for.

We'd hit Old Navy for the cargo pants they both love. I'd buy 14 pairs each so I don't have to do laundry for two weeks.

Lane will have his restricted license next March so we'd mosey on over to the Dodge dealership and let him select the truck of his choice. Since this is our one free day, we'd probably get Levi one, too, even though he won't be driving for a couple of years. Of course, while there, truck lust would hit Steve as he's really been missing his since he traded it off so I'm sure he'd pick one, too. Then, not wanting to feel left out, I'd have to go pick out a Yukon Denali.

I'd order that automated Halloween sound and light system that Lane and I crave. That would be another $2,000 or so that CitiCards gets to eat.

We'd finish up our day with dinner at Scotch and Sirloin.

I'd spend the evening laying on the bed, watching bad TV and relishing the idea that I finally got away with something.

2006-10-03T07:52:00.000-06:00

Woman Magic

Since his pre-teens Lane has steadfastly refused any advice or help from me in the area of hair or clothing. Not that he's particularly fashionable (a drawer full of nothing but khaki cargo pants does not a fashion guru make) but he knows what HE wants.

Fine. Have at it. It's your hair. It's your clothes.

However, last night he slept on wet hair and woke up with a cute little flip that would have done any 1950s girl proud and no amount of wetting on his part (and, by that, I mean wetting his hair) would control it. He came to me and said, "Mom, can you work some of your woman magic on my hair?" Hmmmm. I do have my uses.

2006-09-29T09:46:00.000-06:00

Kids are Weird, ad nauseum

Yesterday, Levi went to school grumpy because I'm behind on laundry and all the t-shirts he had clean were "ugly". I didn't even ask in what way.

Today, he went to school grumpy because all of his old (too short) pants were dirty. All three pairs of NEW pants I bought him for back-to-school were clean. To get them long enough, we had to get the waist sizes a little big. He can wear a belt. HOWEVER, today he had to wear his cross country team t-shirt and the coach asks that they tuck them in. So, why was Levi grumpy? Because he had to wear the new, larger-waisted jeans and "Belts look stupid when you have your shirt tucked in!" Again, I didn't ask.

It will take a much cleverer mind than mine to discern the fashion logic of a middle schooler.

2006-09-27T22:29:00.000-06:00

A not-so-random act ....

September is kicking my ass. It's been nuts. And this week has been one of the ass-kickingest of the month. And it ain't near over yet. I was gone from 8 a.m. till 4:30 this afternoon today. Had to take my mom over 2 hours away for a check-up with her lung doctor. Spending an hour with my mom can be exhausting. Spending a day is, well, ass-kicking. When I got home, I knew I only had about 15 minutes before I needed to leave again to pick Levi up, run some errands then come home and try to figure out what to make for dinner. Not really much time to rest up.

When I got home, I noticed a largish box that had been delivered today. It was sent to me from some company I'd never heard of. You would have laughed if you had seen me looking at the package. I didn’t remember ordering anything. Could it be something Steve ordered for me for my birthday so maybe I shouldn’t open it?? No, I don’t think he’d plan that far ahead. But, still … maybe I shouldn’t just in case. On the other hand, it would surely come in HIS name, right?? I swear I mulled this over, discussing it with Lane, for about 5 minutes before opening. It was a funny, little Halloween witch. It still took me a couple of minutes to see that it came from a friend in Las Vegas. I can't find words to describe how this made me feel. Especially on a day like today. This dear friend has been too busy lately to even keep in touch much. And yet she, knowing what a Halloween freak I am, took time to order this little witch and have her sent across the country to me. It just literally swept away all the grumpiness and fatigue I'd been feeling just mere minutes before.

I must remember this feeling. And I must remember to make someone else feel like this in turn.

2006-09-25T21:56:00.000-06:00

Happiness
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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The challenge:
"Happiness comes from the capacity to
feel deeply,
to enjoy simply,
to think freely,
to risk life,
to be needed."
-Storm Jameson

Your assignment is simple. Take all or part of this quote, and let it inspire you. Write about where you find happiness. What is your strongest capacity? Your weakest? Write about people you know who excel at each of the points mentioned in the quote. Tell about someone you know whose inability to live out any one of the points has kept them from happiness.

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I wouldn't say I consider myself to be a "happy" person. When I think of happy people, I think of the Jack Russell Terriers of the human world. You know the ones who are perpetually cheerful, always have a smile, always seem upbeat. This isn't me. On the other hand, I'm not a Basset Hound either.

I know both types of people. My aunt, who really isn't an aunt but who has been a family friend since long before my birth and so seems like one, is the always happy type. She's such a pleasure to be around. She's not bouncy, but she's always cheerful and positive. My mother, on the other hand, is the perpetually down type. She has occasional good days but, on the average, she's a drag. She can find the negative in any situation. There it is. I said it. Quite often, being with her brings me down.

Now, here's the thing. The aunt has had more than her share of tragedy in her life. She lost a daughter at age 17, a son at age 32, a grandson at age 12 (all from accidents) and her husband a few years ago. Mom has lost no one except her mother who was 85 at the time. You could say that the aunt has no reason to be happy, and yet she is. And mom has no reason to be unhappy, but she is. I have no idea why. Trust me, I wish I did. The aunt just has some internal fortitude that mom was born without.

Me? I'm somewhere in the middle. I can be moody. But at least I have the ups to go with the downs.

"Happiness comes from the capacity to
feel deeply,
... Sometimes this is what makes me unhappy. I feel the bad things, even the little bad things, too deeply at times. But I tend to feel the little good things deeply, too.

to enjoy simply,
... This, I do. Sometimes very basic things make my heart swell with happiness - a gorgeous sky, the sight of a little, red fox crossing the road in front of me, listening to my kids laugh.

to think freely,
... My tendency to do this probably brings unhappiness to others at time. Chiefly, my husband.

to risk life,
... I think I risked a lot when I chose to leave the stability of a 14-year job to become a stay-at-home-mom. And that has brought me much happiness.

to be needed."
... I'm a wife and mother. 'Nuff said.

I guess I'm content to be a middle grounder. I'll never know the ease of being always happy, but I may enjoy the happy times more for having been through the non-happy ones.

2006-09-24T22:21:00.000-06:00

Remember that ending era? This confirms it.

My backyard is now naked. Steve had a mini-garage sale yesterday to get rid of some of the excess. Two things that went ... the trampoline and the kids' play fort. All the Little Tykes, Tonka and Playskool went long ago. These were the last remnants of little kids playthings. And now they're gone.

2006-09-22T07:32:00.000-06:00

The end of an era?

It is fall. Fall means soccer here, as does spring. But, for the first time since the boys were five, I don't have a kid playing soccer. Lane, at high school, has too many other activities going. Levi, as a 7th grader, had new sports available to him through the school which conflict with soccer. So he's not playing. He probably won't play in the spring either as track will start then.

No soccer?? My world has been turned upside down.

So, now what will people call me? Can't really call me a Soccer Mom anymore. Debate Mom? Cross Country Mom? Drama/Orchestra/4-H/Track/Junior Leaders Mom? Doesn't quite roll off the tongue, does it?

Maybe they can just call me Running Her Ass Ragged Mom. Now THAT fits!

2006-09-20T06:11:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, a mother's work IS done

Mothers spend the lives of their children molding them, shaping them, guiding their behavior. At times, the results of these efforts are seen almost immediately. Other times, it takes many years before we are successful. Persistence is the key. There is such wonder in looking over your offspring, knowing you have helped make them the people they are, beaming proudly. One of those moments for me is now.

Both boys are currently reading Stephen King books.

*sniff, sniff*

My work here is done.

2006-09-17T21:46:00.000-06:00

Becoming Obsolete

The boys are growing up. That means I, as a parent, am becoming obsolete. Oh, not completely. Not for a while. But I'm noticing it happening more and more lately. Lane is becoming much more mature since he started high school. He's taking care of things on his own. He's taking initiative. He's being responsible. Not all of the time of course, but much more regularly than he did even a few months ago.

Levi, being younger, is still needing more reminders and help. But even he is becoming more independent every week.

After so long of being so needed, it feels a bit odd to find oneself needing to be less of a drill sergeant and more of a distant supervisor. I hope I'll never be completely uneeded. I hope they'll call from college to tell me they accidentally washed their red t-shirt with their whites and how can they get their unders un-pink? That they'll call one day to say they want to cook dinner for their girlfriend and can I send them my lasagna recipe? That the baby has been crying all afternoon and they can't figure out what's wrong and do I have any ideas?

Hopefully, I'll never become completely obsolete.
Maybe just a little redundant.

2006-09-12T07:24:00.000-06:00

Diary of a Mad Orange Housecat
Day 46

I think it's safe now to begin reporting on my experiences here. My team and I were taken to a holding area that the humans called a "shelter" nearly two months ago. From there, we were to be distributed into the human world in various locations. Our mission was to infiltrate the human world, carefully studying their habits and reporting back. I felt it safest to give my humans time to become accustomed to me and lull them into a false sense of security before beginning my reports. They now believe that I belong to them and am nothing more than an amusing "pet".

I have now insinuated myself into every area of their lives. Their security is so lax as to be laughable. My superiors would be appalled if their troops were half so lackadaisical.

I have been able to spend the most time with the female subject. The males all leave the house for long periods most days but the female leaves and returns with much greater frequency. She has many habits that I have found to be very strange. I'm making careful notes but have not yet been able to discern the purpose of many of these rituals. For example, instead of fastidiously cleaning her face as those of our race do, she periodically slathers a paint-like substance onto it. She pushes a terrifyingly loud machine all over her home base which removes all of the bits of carpet I have so carefully scratched off the post they gave me for that very purpose.

The males have extremely odd customs as well. The two larger ones use a sharp instrument to scrape their whiskers off. I cannot fathom how they can hunt or sense things with no whiskers to guide them.

The youngest male insists that I sleep in his room every night. Perhaps he is beginning to suspect my true nature and elects to keep me close so that he can watch me for signs that I am a spy. I must be very careful around this one and continue to play the role of the silly pet.

All of them regularly subject themselves to liberal dousings of water. It makes my blood run cold to observe. The younger males have forced me to subject myself to such dousings on a few occasions. It took every ounce of nerve to pretend to meekly submit to this torture. I have to confess that I was not entirely successful and could not stop myself from struggling a bit. The oddest thing I have observed to date is that every one of them expels into a bowl of water rather than the more rational sand-like substance with which one can cover their leavings. Extremely odd.

This race is a most peculiar one. I will continue to study their habits, making careful notes so that, when the opportunity arises, I can report to my superiors. I do not know where the rest of my team members were disbursed to. I only hope they are making progress in deciphering this most baffling race. I do not know when I will be contacted for my reports. Until that time, I will assume my mission is the same as the original one ... infiltrate, observe and report.

2006-09-11T07:56:00.000-06:00

Countdown
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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The challenge:
In honor of Shuttle Atlantis, which finally blasted off yesterday, and because my friend Cara likes it when I make lists like this, this week's blog challenge is a Countdown List. 10...9... 8... 7....

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10 Things I Wanna Do Before I Die
* Have a clean house stay that way for 24 or more hours
* Sleep in on weekday mornings
* Make at least one meal that everyone likes
* Have a sock-free family room floor
* Have a toy-free family room floor
* Have someone else clean the "guy" bathroom
* Have someone else learn to cook
* Have a dog that doesn't shed
* Have a cat whose poop is odor-free
* Have a car that is NOT big enough to hold an upright bass, a cello, two golf bags, 2 backpacks, and sundry other kid items, including kids

9 Places I Last Spent Money
* Wal Mart
* Country Mart
* School for lunch tickets
* School for portraits
* Wal Mart
* Country Mart
* Hair salon
* Wal Mart
* Country Mart

8 Sounds I Routinely Hear Around My House
* Kids saying "Mom, I need ..."
* Kids saying "Mom, I want ..."
* Kids saying "Mom, can you ..."
* Kids saying, "Mom, can we ..."
* Kids saying, "Mom, come look at ..."
* Kids saying, "Mom, what's for supper?"
* Hubby saying, "Honey, can/will/would you ..."
* Silence when they're all gone to work and school

7 Real Restaurants Where I Last Ate Out
* Chili's last week when the kids were in school
* Gambino's a couple of weeks ago when the kids were out of school
Since McDonald's, Wendy's, Arby's and Sonic don't qualify as "real" restaurants, this is all I've got!

6 Things I've Recently Scratched Off My To-Do List
* Take the kids to their dentist appointments
* Take the kids to their hair cut appointments
* Take the kids to their photography judging contest
* Take one kid to his cross country meet
* Take the other kid to work
* Run errands for hubby
[Note: Still ON my to-do list is get one of the kids their license and a car so they can do this stuff!]

5 People I Don't Know by would Like to Hang Out With
* A massage therapist
* A manicurist
* A great stylist
* A wardrobe makeover specialist
* A psychotherapist

4 Songs That Make Me Happy
* Bells - Those ringing to signify that DS-1 is at his school
* Bells - Those ringing to signify that DS-2 is at his school
* That music hubby's car makes as it's leaving for work
* Any song the boys' orchestras are playing.
[Dang - just had to mess it up with one serious one!]

3 Things I Hate To Do
* Cook
* Laundry
* Clean

2 Things I'm Really Good At
* Finding ways to avoid cooking, laundry and cleaning
* Being stupid
[Hey, have you been reading this blog??]

1 Bad Habit
* Being stupid

2006-09-10T21:40:00.000-06:00

My greatest fear ....

Is discovering that there is no such thing as PMS and this is my real personality.

2006-09-08T06:31:00.000-06:00

Raising kids is like having a flat tire

Things are just a'rolling along smoothly when ... BLAM! A big noise, things go all bumpy and wobbly, you check what's wrong and realize that something got broken.

Okay, so that wasn't the analogy I was thinking of when I started to write this but it came mid-stream and I liked it too, so decided to include it.

What I was originally thinking is ....

Steve and I thought were busy when we got married. We each had careers. I had a commute. We had family and friends and activities we enjoyed. Life was fine, but busy. Or was it?

We had kids. Now we had all of the above but we added two young ones that needed wrangling. Now we knew what busy really meant. Or did we?

The boys got bigger and got involved in activities of their own. At this point, I quit my job. We still had everything we'd always done, but now we also had two boys running in different directions to different things. Now we got it. NOW we really understood the meaning of the word busy. No, we didn't.

Both boys moved up to new levels this year. Lane started high school in which a whole new world of never before available options opened up to him. Now he has a job, is in debate, drama and AC Players (the drama club). This piled on top of the activities he had before. Levi started seventh grade and this, too, is a level where new things are available. He's running cross country this fall and will be running track in the spring. These in addition to his former activities as well.

It seems every new phase of our life jacks up the intensity. A friend e-mailed wanting to know when our gang could get together for another friend's birthday. I checked my calendar and realized that I have exactly two afternoons free this entire month. What will it be like when Levi also gets to high school and gets all those new options as well? I shudder to think.

And then, one day, they'll both be gone to college and I'll be sitting here feeling like someone just came along and kicked the jack out from under the car and things came crashing to a standstill. I may need therapy.

2006-09-05T21:40:00.000-06:00

Angels Unaware
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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The challenge:
Write about an event in your life that you were directly impacted by, whether you were on the receiving end, or on the giving end. Tell us about an act of selflessness, an act of bravery, an act of servitude...

Tell us about the woman who comforted your lost child at Walmart until you could be reunited. Tell us about the man who picked up your dinner tab and didn't stick around to be thanked. Tell about the time you scared a bunch of bullies away from a trembling puppy, or the kids you saw hanging out at the bus stop way after the school bell rang, and how you kept an eye on them until the bus finally arrived. Dig deep into your memory bank and recall the little miracles that have happened in your life at the hands of total strangers. Remember the little miracles you've been a part of, simply because you listened to your inner voice. We've all been touched. Share YOUR story.

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I'm going to deviate a bit from Stacy's probable intent with this challenge. And, as usual, I'm not going with the first idea I had in response to reading the challenge. That seems to happen every week.

I believe that the angels that have had the most influence in my life are my two boys, Lane and Levi. Now, before you go thinking I'm calling them angels in the precious, little cherubs sense of the word ... stop. Remember, Satan was an angel, too. No, my two angels are more of the tarnished halo, dirty robes and unkempt wings variety. Think John Travolta in the movie Michael.

What is an angel?
(Excerpts from some random website when doing a Google search "What is an angel?")

1. A spiritual being that is believed to be much more powerful than a human.
The boys definitely have super-human powers. The power to drive a mother mad beyond belief. The power to baffle and confuse. The power to amaze, amuse and aggravate. The power to melt a heart with a single hug.

2. Angels are composed of ethereal matter, thus allowing them to take on whichever physical form best suits their immediate needs.
Physical form? No. Behavioral form? Absolutely! Ever see a kid that wants something? Talk about taking on whatever form best suits his immediate needs!

3. In Christian, Muslim, Jewish and other theologies an angel can be one who acts as a messenger.
Hmmm. Ever see a boy whose brother has just committed some crime that's going to earn him a beating? Mercury the winged messenger couldn't make better time in delivering the news.

4. A fallen angel is often classed as a devil, like Satan himself.
There you go. They're not quite Satan, just a couple of his minions.

5. Although angels are generally divine, they have been shown to be fallible and prone to sin.
None of us has the time for me to cover all the ways in which this one fits!

In addition to the above, my two angels really have affected my life in more varied, and more profound, ways than all of the other angels who have touched me combined. Having them has changed the entire course of my life. If not for them, I'd still be plodding away in the corporate harness. If not for them, I'd never have learned the hundreds of things that I have in the last fourteen years. If not for them, I would have loved, laughed, cried and lived less. My house would be cleaner. I'd be richer, thinner and better rested. I probably wouldn't have any grey hair. But without them, I would have missed out on the most meaningful experiences of my life to date.

2006-08-30T21:42:00.000-06:00

What to do? What to do?

Survivor starts in two weeks.

Volleyball starts tomorrow.

Survivor is on Thursdays.

Volleyball is on Thursdays.

I really hate to admit this publicly but Survivor is the only show I'm completely addicted to. I like other shows and happily watch them if we're both available at the same time. But Survivor is the only show I make a point never to miss. It's the only show I'll tape if I'm going to miss it.

But my VCR is broken.

SIL (yeah, that one) offered me one of theirs a couple of months ago. I politely declined as they're always strapped for cash and it seemed wrong to take one from them. But she assured me that they have SIX of them so could easily spare one. (I didn't ask why they have six as I was afraid the answer would make me sick.) But I gratefully accepted the offer of the free VCR.

That was a couple of months ago. SIL still hasn't remembered to bring it.

Survivor starts in two weeks.

Volleyball starts tomorrow.

So, do I go buy a new VCR? I hate to prod her into bringing it since she's doing me a favor to begin with. Seems a bit ungrateful to needle her about it. But if I go buy a new one I have no doubt she'll turn up with one the next week.

What to do? What to do?

On the other hand, I guess my life is pretty good if my biggest dilemma at present is whether or not to buy a VCR to tape Survivor!

2006-08-29T20:38:00.000-06:00

I usually try to keep my posts here light. Even when I'm bitching, I at least try to be a little humorous about it. But there was no humor to be found in the email I got from my mother-in-law yesterday. Bless her heart. She is a little racist, but she doesn't mean to be and honestly doesn't think she is. She just hasn't quite overcome her small town, never see any race but her own, biased upbringing. Plus, she thinks every word that comes to her via e-mail is true if it comes from someone she knows. I don't think she ever stops to wonder who the original source of the message was. I've sent her the link to Snopes numerous times. I've copied and pasted the actual articles from Snopes into emails and sent them to her numerous times. I finally started just deleting the goofy, urban legend ones. But this message could not be ignored. I did respond to it telling her that I thought it was incredibly sad that people were perpetuating ideas like this. I also posted the email contents on Scrap Share. Purplesocklady sent the message to a Muslim friend of hers who responded to each charge much more articulately, and with much, more more actual knowledge, than I ever could. I decided to post these comments here as I know this message is flying around the internet like these things tend to do. Hopefully, at least one person who has gotten this vile email will see this and have some understanding of the truth. I will post each individual charge, then follow with Matt H's responses. Thank you , Matt. I really hope you don't mind me sharing your comments here.

Can a good Muslim be a good American?

After much study and deliberation.... Perhaps we should be very suspicious of ALL MUSLIMS in this country. They obviously cannot be both "good" Muslims and good Americans. Pass it on Fellow Americans. The religious war is bigger than we know or understand.

Theologically - no. Because his allegiance is to Allah, the moon god of Arabia.

Theologically-yes, because Allah is the Lord of all the Worlds, not just the Moon or Arabia. A Muslim fought for the Americans during the Revolutionary war, and the only book to be saved from a burning University in Georgia during the Civil War, was the Qur'an translated into English. Islam has its roots deeper into America than some would want to believe.

Religiously - no. Because no other religion is accepted by his Allah except Islam (Koran, 2:256)

Religiously-yes, because Muslims live in every country on Earth, and are not isolated in the Middle-East. In fact, the minority of the world Muslim community is Arabic. Arabs make up only 22% of the World's Muslim population, whereas the largest Muslim country in the world is Indonesia. Believing only Islam as a religion accepted by Allah doesn't have anything to do with living in a country where the majority of its people don't believe in it. Historically, Muslims have lived under non-Muslim rule and there were very few rebellions until recently to overthrow the government and create an Islamic state from the ruins. Who told them to keep their peace? The religious scholars. They would rather have Muslims live under non-Muslim rule, than to fight and shed blood simply to create an Islamic State. This is a lengthy subject, and I can't get into it fully, but scholars wrote extensively on the subject of war, and its permissibility and impermissibility, so I would advise that one should try to read all of the books that had the most credentials back in its day before making a sweeping generalization that all Muslims think they can't live under non-Muslim rule. What about the Muslims who lived under the Christian king of Abyssinia, under the direct orders of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon Him) Himself? The Muslims were being persecuted by their own people, and the Christian King took them in as refugees, and sacrificed His economic interests when the Meccans came back to take the Muslims back home where they could "take care of them". The King said no, even though the Meccans were one of his best economic traders. He sacrificed the economic comfort of his nation to protect some Muslims. And the Muslims were grateful. So, don't tell me that you can't be a Muslim and a good American (or whatever country you want to use)

Scripturally - no. Because his allegiance is to the five pillars of Islam and the Quran (Koran).

Scripturally- yes, because the Five Pillars of Islam are "There is no deity except God, and Muhammad is His Messenger", "Annual Charity", "Pilgrimage", "Fasting", and "Praying 5 times a day". What in the American Constitution prevents a Muslim from doing or affirming any of these things? As I said, Muslims have lived under non-Muslim rule for centuries. It is impossible that all Muslims in history have lived under Muslim rule, simply for reasons of numbers. There would not be enough room for all of the Muslims in the world to live in the countries that were ruled by Muslims.

Geographically - no Because his allegiance is to Mecca, to which he turns in prayer five times a day.

Geographically- yes, because only the minority of Muslims live near Mecca, whereas the majority live in Indonesia. The Muslims do not show their allegiance to Mecca. But it is the holiest city of Islam because the Prophet Muhammad took the idols out of the Kaaba, and restored Abrahamic Monotheism among the Arab people, who then shared the message to the whole world. This is a focal point of unity, and it is comforting to know that millions of other people are turning in the same direction as you are, and praying at the same time, even if you don't know them or will never meet them.

Socially - no. Because his allegiance to Islam forbids him to make friends with Christians or Jews.

Socially- yes, because the Muslim is NOT forbidden to make friends with Jews and Christians. There is a verse that is often translated as saying the Muslims should not make friends or patrons with the Jews and the Christians. However, there was a whole science dedicated to Qur'anic historical context, because the Qur'an is not like the Bible and it is assumes the listener knew the allusions and events that it was referring to. Whereas the Bible has history and revelation wrapped together. So, the Muslim scholars and historians fixed this problem by trying to find out the historical context behind each verse, and researched extensively to find the truth. What one scholar found was that this verse that seemily claims Muslims should not make friends with Jews and Christians, has the following as the context. The Muslims were starting to get afraid because of not having enough tribal support, or what not, so some of the Muslims said "I am going to take refuge with the Jews", and others aid "I am going to take refuge with the Christians". Then, this verse was revealed telling the Muslims NOT to do that, but stay together as Muslims and fight the tide together. That interpretation is radically different than a supremacist attitude of not making friends with Non-Muslims because they are "infidels".

Politically - no. Because he must submit to the mullah (spiritual leaders) who teach annihilation of Israel and Destruction of America, the great Satan.

Politically-yes, because only in Shi'i Islam is the Mullah believed to have divine authority from God to make decrees. The over-whelming majority of Muslims believe the Imams are great people who have much knowledge of religion, but they are not infallible and are encouraged to seek different opinions from other well established scholars to make their own decision. So, a Muslim does not have to listen to a Mullah who tells him he must destroy Israel and America. He can go to another Imam and ask him what his opinion is, and make his decision after weighing the pros and cons of the situation. If he has sound mind, he will most likely choose NOT to destroy Israel and America.

Domestically - no. Because he is instructed to marry four women and beat and scourge his wife when she disobeys him (Quran 4:34).

Domestically-yes, The word for "beat" in that verse has many meanings. I don't want to beat around the bush and ignore the controversial question that is being asked, because I don't want to get beat in an argument about this subject. Notice how I used the word "beat" in two sentences, and both have different meanings. The first meaning is to ignore the question and try to move on to a different subject. The second sentence means that I don't want to lose an argument. Why couldn't I simply just say that? Because it is my culture to use words in different manners and contexts. In Arabic, it is exactly the same. Considering the Prophet is the example to follow, let us see if He ever beat His wives? No, He didn't. And His wives not only disobeyed Him often, but would argue with Him over a lot of issues. What did He do? He listened to their complaints like a good husband does. He didn't say "Woman! Keep your mouth shut in my house!". And as for the four wives, the Muslim is actually DISCOURAGED from marrying four women, not INSTRUCTED to. The Qur'an says that if the husband is fair and treats each of his wives equally, he may marry four women. But the Qur'an in a different section says that you will never be able to be fair with more than one wife, so the Qur'an is actually prohibiting polygamy through personal morality, but not through law.

Intellectually - no. Because he cannot accept the American Constitution since it is based on Biblical principles and he believes the Bible to be corrupt.

Intellectually - yes, because many of the most brilliant university students in America are Muslims. Come to my university, and you will find that half of the people hanging around the Student Union are Muslims. I didn't know that not agreeing with every single facet of the American constitution made one a bad American. It's not a divine decree, sent down directly from God Himself.

Philosophically - no. Because Islam, Muhammad, and the Quran do not allow freedom of religion and expression. Democracy and Islam cannot co-exist. Every Muslim government is either dictatorial or autocratic, or theocratic.

Philosophically- yes, because Muslims brought philosophy back onto the scene after the Christian establishment buried and banned it as heretical musings of pagans. The Muslims were obsessed with philosophy. Many of the scholars were reading a philosophy book if they weren't reading the Qur'an, and vice versa. They translated many of the writings of the great philosophers like Socrates, and Plato into Arabic and preserved the texts. If Muhammad did not permit freedom of religion, then why did He allow Christians from the region of Najran, Arabia to pray in His Mosque when it was time for them to pray? Mind you, this is after they decided that He was a False Prophet, because their intention for seeing Him was to question Him and find out if He was a true Prophet or a false Prophet. They chose the latter, yet Muhammad still offered His Mosque to stay in. Keep in mind, that Islam teaches the existence of One God, and all Prayers should be directed to this One God. Not through intercessors, angels, or Prophets. But to the One God Alone. Whereas the Christians believed in a Trinity, and they prayed to God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit, or all at the same time. Still, Muhammad allowed this type of prayer to be said in his Mosque which was dedicated to true Monotheism. If that is not freedom of religion, then I don't know what is.

Spiritually - no. Because when we declare "one nation under God," the Christian's God is loving and kind, while Allah is NEVER referred to as heavenly father, nor is he ever called love in The Quran's 99 excellent names.

Spiritually-, yes. Here is the list of the 99 beautiful names of Allah, and decide for oneself if this is a loving God.
1. Ar-Rahman: The All-Compassionate
2. Ar-Rahim: The All-Merciful
3. Al-Malik: The Absolute Ruler
4. Al-Quddus: The Pure One
5. As-Salam: The Source of Peace
6. Al-Mu'min: The Inspirer of Faith
7. Al-Muhaymin: The Guardian
8. Al-'Aziz: The Victorious
9. Al-Jabbar: The Compeller
10. Al-Mutakabbir: The Greatest
11. Al-Khaliq: The Creator
12. Al-Bari': The Maker of Order
13. Al-Musawwir: The Shaper of Beauty
14. Al-Ghaffar: The Forgiving
15. Al-Qahhar: The Subduer
16. Al-Wahhab: The Giver of All
17. Ar-Razzaq: The Sustainer
18. Al-Fattah: The Opener
19. Al-'Alim: The Knower of All
20. Al-Qabid: The Constrictor
21. Al-Basit: The Reliever
22. Al-Khafid: The Abaser
23. Ar-Rafi': The Exalter
24. Al-Mu'izz: The Bestower of Honors
25. Al-Mudhill: The Humiliator
26. As-Sami: The Hearer of All
27. Al-Basir: The Seer of All
28. Al-Hakam: The Judge
29. Al-'Adl: The Just
30. Al-Latif: The Subtle One
31. Al-Khabir: The All-Aware
32. Al-Halim: The Forebearing
33. Al-'Azim: The Magnificent
34. Al-Ghafur: The Forgiver and Hider of Faults
35. Ash-Shakur: The Rewarder of Thankfulness
36. Al-'Ali: The Highest
37. Al-Kabir: The Greatest
38. Al-Hafiz: The Preserver
39. Al-Muqit: The Nourisher
40. Al-Hasib: The Accounter
41. Al-Jalil: The Mighty
42. Al-Karim: The Generous
43. Ar-Raqib: The Watchful One
44. Al-Mujib: The Responder to Prayer
45. Al-Wasi': The All-Comprehending
46. Al-Hakim: The Perfectly Wise
47. Al-Wadud: The Loving One
48. Al-MajÃd: The Majestic One
49. Al-Ba'ith: The Resurrector
50. Ash-Shahid: The Witness
51. Al-h Haqq: The Truth
52. Al-Wakil: The Trustee
53. Al-Qawi: The Possessor of All Strength
54. Al-Matin: The Forceful One
55. Al-WÃÂ¡li: The Governor
56. Al-Hamid: The Praised One
57. Al-Muhsi: The Appraiser
58. Al-Mubdi: The Originator
59. Al-Mu'id: The Restorer
60. Al-Muhyi: The Giver of Life
61. Al-Mumit: The Taker of Life
62. Al-Hayy: The Ever Living One
63. Al-Qayyum: The Self-Existing One
64. Al-Wajid: The Finder
65. Al-MÃÂ¡jid: The Glorious
66. Al-Wahid: The Only One
67. Al-Ahad: The One
68. As-Samad: The Satisfier of All Needs
69. Al-Qadir: The All Powerful
70. Al-Muqtadir: The Creator of All Power
71. Al-Muqaddim: The Expediter
72. Al-Mu'akhkhir: The Delayer
73. Al-Awwal: The First
74. Al-Akhir: The Last
75. Az-Zahir: The Manifest One
76. Al-Batin: The Hidden One
77. Al-WalÃ: The Protecting Friend
78. Al-Muta'ali: The Supreme One
79. Al-Barr: The Doer of Good
80. At-Tawwib: The Guide to Repentance
81. Al-Muntaqim: The Avenger
82. Al-Afu: The Forgiver
83. Ar-Ra'uf: The Clement
84. Malik al-Mulk: The Owner of All
85. Dhul-JalaliWal-Ikram: The Lord of Majesty and Bounty
86. Al-Muqsit: The Equitable One
87. Al-Jami: The Gatherer
88. Al-Ghani: The Rich One
89. Al-Mughni: The Enricher
90. Al-Mani': The Preventer of Harm
91. Ad-Darr: The Creator of The Harmful
92. An-Nafi: The Creator of Good
93. An-Nur: The Light
94. Al-Hadi: The Guide
95. Al-Badi: The Originator
96. Al-Baqi: The Everlasting One
97. Al-Warith: The Inheritor of All
98. Ar-Rashid: The Righteous Teacher
99. As-Sabur: The Patient One

Therefore after much study and deliberation.... perhaps we should be very loving of ALL MUSLIMS in this country. They obviously CAN be both good Muslims and Americans.

Pass it on Fellow Americans. The religious propaganda war is more subtle and hidden than we can ever imagine.

Written by Matt H. Aug 29, 2006

2006-08-28T08:46:00.000-06:00

Contents
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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The challenge:
1. Open your purse/wallet/briefcase/diaper bag.
2. Inventory the contents.
3. Pick one item from your inventory list and expand on it. Why do you have it? Where did it come from? What special meaning does it have? Is there a funny/interesting story attached? Choose something that will tell the reader a little about you, whether it's serious, funny or unremarkable. Or if you're writing for yourself, choose something that will remind an older you of who the younger you was.

Go - inventory your contents!

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My purse is probably the least telling item that I own. A stranger, upon finding and shuffling through it, would get a very misleading impression of me. My purse is probably the most organized area of my life. There’s nothing in it I don’t need. Everything has a place and everything is in its place. This is SO not me in the rest of my life. Said stranger, when shuffling, might mistakenly surmise that the owner of the purse was in possession of an organized and orderly mind. *snort* That’s a good one!

What’s the most telling item in my purse? Probably all the punch cards in my wallet. You know those ones where you buy so-many and then get one free? I have seven of them, four of which are to various coffee places. Now THAT probably tells something about me.

See, I’m a bit of a coffee snob. It doesn’t necessarily have to be rare or exorbitantly expensive coffee, but it does have to be good coffee and it has to be real coffee. My coffee of choice at home is Folgers Gourmet Supreme. I usually make 2-cups in the morning. In my pot, one tablespoon of grounds makes one cup. It’s not sissy coffee.

And then there’s the creamer. Now, this is where my claim to be a coffee snob could have a breach in its hull as a true coffee purist might claim that a real cup of coffee would NOT include creamer. But you may recall I claimed to be a snob, not a purist. Creamer should be very rich and flavorful, NOT flavored. Sister-in-law (yeah, that one) was visiting recently and woke up on Sunday morning with a raging hangover from the previous evening spent with her family. And yet she could not drink coffee because she forgot her vanilla-cinnamon-caramel-make-it-not-taste-like-coffee-anymore creamer. Gag.

That said, when visiting the big city, aka: any city that has an actual coffee shop like Starbucks or Java Dave’s, I will get something frilly. Chocolate-covered cherry mocha lattes are a favorite. But I don’t really consider these “coffee” even though they have espresso in them. When I want coffee, I drink coffee. When I want dessert, I get a latte.

So, if you ever find my purse, you’ll discover very little about my true personality, other than the fact that I’m a coffee addict.

2006-08-25T08:40:00.000-06:00

What's a little feces?

I was mowing this morning. Mowing is fairly monotonous work leaving the mind free to wander as it will. With little else to think about, I found myself mulling over the recent thread on Scrap Share about t-shirt slogans. http://www.scrapshare.com/vb/showthread.php?t=59821 Different ones offended different people. Some people thought the one that says "My brother did it" is awful. Personally, I find that one funny. I bought that very one for Levi for his birthday a couple of weeks ago.

Many people said they have one for their little girls that says "Princess". To me, that one is vile.

In thinking on it more, I realized that it's all about intent and perception. If Levi were truly a kid that blamed everything on his brother and tried to get out of taking responsibility for his actions, I wouldn't find that shirt funny either. But he's not. And his brother does torture him at times. So, to me, the shirt is funny.

Some of the SS ladies explained that they let their girls get the "Princess" shirts because they want to be one. I've always viewed those shirts as "Daddy's little princess, I get whatever I want because I'm precious" shirt. It never occurred to me that the girl kids wearing them might actually want to be Cinderella. Intent and perception.

All of this reminds me of the 'do you have pets' thread. Some said they wouldn't have one because they wouldn't be able to stand cleaning up poop. To me, that's a very small price to pay for all benefits of pet ownership ... the love, affection, companionship and entertainment. Hey, what's a little feces in an otherwise ordinary life?

But maybe that's just my perception.

2006-08-24T07:44:00.000-06:00

The blink of an eye

I nearly got broad-sided this morning. I had dropped Lane off at the high school and was taking Levi to the middle school. I was stopped at a red light, then started into the intersection when the light turned green. I caught movement out of the corner of my eye, slammed on my brakes and a car went flying by no more than 1-2' from my front bumper. It was truly a heart-stopping moment.

The thing is, since Lane got his permit in June I have preached and preached and preached at him NOT to trust that other drivers will follow the law! And I usually do check left and right before starting into an intersection in cases like this just in case some dumbass decides to fly through on the last second of yellow and doesn't make it. But Levi and I were chatting and I just had one of those momentary lapses. I could well have been my last lapse.

Note to self: Remember to practice what you preach!

You must excuse me now while I go change my panties.

2006-08-22T23:20:00.000-06:00

The discoveries of a first time kitten owner

We let Levi adopt a 2 month-old kitten from the Humane Society for his birthday. We’ve all fallen in love with him! But I have to say that I’ve made an amazing amount of discoveries about life with a kitten in that brief time. Technically, we’re not truly first time kitten owners. We have a 4 year-old cat. But she came to us as an older kitten. Plus, she was born and raised outdoors so we’ve always allowed her to come in or go out as she chooses. Unless it’s cold, she chooses out most of the time. So she wasn’t an accurate test run of the kitten raising process.

Here are just a few things I’ve learned in the three-and-a-half weeks we’ve had Sunny …

1. Kittens grow extremely rapidly! Sunny nearly doubled his weight - from 2.2 lbs. to 4.0 lbs. - in exactly three weeks.
2. Number 1 is probably due to the fact that a kitten can eat the equivalent of his own body weight in food on a daily basis.
3. Number 2 probably contributes to the fact that a kitten can poop the equivalent of his own body weight on a daily basis.
4. Kitten poop really stinks. I mean REALLY. Worse that grown-up cat poop. (I haven’t figured this one out, unless it’s the rich kitten food as opposed to grown-up cat food.)
5. Kittens have an amazing amount of energy and love to play.
6. A kitten’s favorite play time is 3 a.m.
7. Playing kittens love to use teeth and claws.
8. Kitten claws most closely resemble tiny needles. Kitten teeth most closely resemble slightly larger needles.
9. Kittens are not afraid of anything. Not big, fat 15 pound cats that growl and hiss when they come near. Not 15 pound dogs who think they might be a snack. Not scolding from their owners when they scratch furniture.
10. Kittens will eschew carpet-covered cat houses and specially purchased scratching posts in favor of scratching furniture.
11. Kittens will eschew specially purchased kitten toys in favor of the dog’s toys.
12. Kittens don’t have quite the balance that adult cats do.
13. Kittens, while playing on the back of the sofa, will occasionally fall off.
14. Kittens think they’re very sneaky. If they crouch down behind a peanut, they think you can’t see them.
15. Kittens are every bit as snoopy as cats. They just can’t get into/onto all the places cats can yet.
16. Kittens will occasionally puff up their tails to four times their original size and run sideways for no apparent reason.
17. A sideways-running kitten with a puffed-up tail is a fairly ridiculous looking thing.
18. Kittens will tolerate approximately 4.5 seconds of petting and loving before they decide those stroking fingers look like something fun to play with. (See number 7.)
19. There is nothing sweeter than a sleeping kitten.
20. Sleeping kittens should be avoided at all costs. They are extremely light sleepers and, upon awakening, think it’s play time.

And all of this in just three-and-a-half weeks. Just think what all there is left for us to learn!

2006-08-21T22:55:00.000-06:00

Remarkably unremarkable
[Brought to you by the weekly SS blog challenge.]

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The challenge:
"My students were middle-class kids who were ashamed of their background. They felt like unless they grew up in poverty, they had nothing to write about...I felt sorry for these kids, that they thought their whole past was absolutely worthless because it was less than remarkable."-David Sedaris, from an interview in January Magazine

Admit it. You've said, "I have nothing to blog about. My life is boring." Haven't you. Haven't you?

Your challenge is to write about it anyway. Write about your less than remarkable life. Write about your routines, your habits, your schedule. Find the unremarkable things about your life and CELEBRATE them.

Go - be remarkable!

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This one is pretty easy. I’m perfectly unremarkable in every way. Reminds me of the M*A*S*H episode where Hawkeye Pierce was talking about his “incredibly average” classmate. That’s me … incredibly average. Average height, average weight (okay, a bit above average in that arena!), average brown hair, average looks. If it weren’t for my tendency to be a bit of a smart ass, you could meet me and not even remember I existed five minutes later.

But, is this necessarily a bad thing? Do I mind it? Not really. I’m rather glad that I’m not on the end of the spectrum of people who stand out for all of the wrong reasons. I’m also okay with not standing out at the upper end. I’m not really a lime-light kind of girl. I think the world needs a good population of those in the middle. Those of us who pay our bills, who keep our lawns tidily mowed, who volunteer at school, drive minivans, take our kids to soccer, shop at Wal Mart, donate blood, recycle and those thousands of other mundane things we do.

I’ll admit that, in my younger days, I yearned for more. To be prettier, to be more talented, to be a star. But I’ve grown up a lot since then. I’ve found my niche. And my niche is unremarkable. And that’s okay.

2006-08-17T07:35:00.000-06:00

Methinks the gentlemen doth protest too much

School started here today. When asked if they were ready, both boys vehemently insisted that they were NOT! No way. No how.

What they said ....

* Heck NO, we're not ready for school to start!

What they did ....

* Pored laboriously over the choices before deciding on school supplies. Who knew it could take 15 minutes just to select mechanical pencils? Choosing pens took only slightly more time. Luckily, spiral notebooks come in only so many varieties.

* Oh so carefully arranged all of the aforementioned supplies in their binders so that they made the most logistical sense.

* Actually went to bed on time last night, sans protest.

* Actually got up this morning on time, sans protest.

* Actually got ready this morning on time, sans protest. In fact, they were all showered, dressed, fed, shod and ready to go a whole half hour before it was time to leave!

The only downside was that I'm no longer allowed to choose their clothing for them. Not even their first-day-of-school clothing. I used to send them in something new. Something cute. This was more for the sake of future scrapbook pages than a creating a good first impression tactic. Still, two birds with one stone and all. Since they no longer let me choose, one went off in an AC/DC tee and the other in his "I didn't do it" tee. Ugh. Then again, the eldest has much worse ones. I guess I should be glad that he restrained himself as much as he did.

We'll see if this eager attitude lasts as long as even day two.

2006-08-16T08:12:00.000-06:00

And then there were two

Teenagers, that is. Levi turned 13 today.

He's a teenager. That's not really much of a system shock as he's had a bit of teen attitude for a few years now. But he sure is growing up. Physically, he's coming awfully close to being as tall as I am. Soon, I'll be the shortest one in the family. Intellectually and emotionally, he's really maturing.

He'll be in 7th grade this year and will be trying new things that haven't been available to him before as a "little" kid. School starts tomorrow and, with it, cross country. Levi's a natural runner and is anxious to try this sport. I think he'll do well. He'll be trying track and field in the spring.

This summer, he decided to try violin. We rented one and he took lessons. By the end of the summer, he decided that the cello really is his instrument so he'll go back to that with school. But now he knows.

He's clever and funny and moody and bright and cranky and sweet. And he's mine.

2006-08-15T08:56:00.000-06:00

Color me white
[Brought to you by the SS Blog Challenge]

When asked what my favorite color was, my first reaction was NOT white. But I had to think about it and realized that it must be one of my favorites. It's practically all I wear, shirt-wise. I must have about 25 white shirts. Several of those are old and used for mowing or house cleaning. A few of them are nice. And, by "nice", I mean not stained. I realized that more and more things in my house are going white ... appliances, towel racks, kitchen tools, ceiling fans, even my latest set of sheets. Not to mention the new van. I just like the clean, fresh, uncluttered look of it.

What does that say about me? I didn't know, so I googled it. Let's see how accurate that is:

White: Symbolic of purity, innocence, and naivete, white has strong connotations of youth and purity.
Hee, hee, haw, haw, laugh, chortle, snort. Ummm, methinks not.

If you are an older person, your preference for white could indicate a desire for perfection and impossible ideals, maybe an attempt to recapture lost youth and freshness.
Okay, maybe. Not the last part. Don't care much about recapturing lost youth unless, of course, that means when the kids run off and I have to track them down. But the perfection part could be accurate. Note that it says the "desire for" perfection ... not the "achievement of".

It may also symbolize a desire for simplicity or the simple life.
Hells yeah. Again, the operative word is "desire".

When considering my favorite color my first reaction was green. Let's see what that says:

The color of harmony and balance, Green symbolizes hope, renewal, and peace, and is usually liked by the gentle and sincere.
Sincere, maybe. I definitely don't see me as gentle. I'm more of a bull than a butterfly.

Greens are generally frank, community-minded people, fairly sociable but preferring peace at any price.
Yes, to all of the above.

Green people can he too self-effacing, modest, and patient and so may get exploited by others.
Yep, yep, yep and SO yep!

They are usually refined, civilized, and reputable.
Nope, nope, yep.

Maybe when you mix green an white and get pale green I'm the "lite" versions of each of these colors??

2006-08-12T21:41:00.000-06:00

Please give helpful advice or shut the $*&@ up!

I don't know what it is lately but everyone seems to want to tell me what's wrong with whatever decision I have recently made ....

Mentioned to a friend that I had gotten a new Dodge van.
Oh, no! You should have gotten a Tahoe! The mileage is about the same but they're much nicer!

We let Levi adopt a kitten from the Humane Society for his birthday.
Oh, no! You should have called us. We have a whole litter of kittens that we would have given you free!

We got the boys new school shoes at the Nike outlet in Kansas City.
Oh, no! You should have gotten them at Dick's! They have good sales this time of year!

Levi's new kitten is a male.
Oh, no! Males tend to have a lot of problems peeing all over the house when they're older.

See, none of these are exactly helpful advice. Had these gems been offered before the stated activity, they might have been useful. After the fact? What do people think I'm going to do? Take the cat back to the Humane Society? Take the shoes back 4.5 hours to KC? Have our kitten sexually altered? How is any of this helpful?

Answer? It's not. Lately it just seems like a lot of people are eager to tell me what's wrong with my decisions. And, to tell the truth, much of the post-advice is bad. I've been spending a lot of time lately smiling and nodding while refraining from saying what's on my mind. I guess I need to think of a comeback for these situations since they seem to be so common lately. Would actually saying, rather than just thinking, "Shut the $*&@ up" be too politically incorrect? I wonder. I also wonder if I care.

2006-08-09T22:18:00.000-06:00

School may now begin

1. The boys are enrolled
2. The lunch tickets are purchased
3. School supplies are stocked up
4. School clothes were bought
5. Backpacks, binders and calculators are located
6. They're sick of each other
7. I'm sick of them being sick of each other
8. I'm sick of not being able to get the computer when I want it

Seven days and counting ....

2006-08-07T08:09:00.000-06:00

"Fair" ... misnomer? Or aptly named?

Well, we have just finished another county fair. WHEW! The boys are 4-Hers so we're there every day of the fair for something or other. During this ordeal ... I mean adventure ... I started thinking about the word "fair" and wondered if it was really appropriately descriptive for what this event entails.

Merriam-Webster offers these definitions of the word:

1 : pleasing to the eye or mind especially because of fresh, charming, or flawless quality
Ummm, ever been to a county fair? This definition definitely does not fit. They look kind of cool at night with all the lights of the rides. In the raw light of day? Nope. Trashy, dusty, crowded, dirty, smelly. Flawless doesn't even come close. Strike one.

2 : superficially pleasing
Okay, this one probably works.

3: clean, pure
See #1. Strike two.

4 : not stormy or foul
Well, no, it was not stormy. Actually, a few storms would have been a welcome respite to the triple-digit temps. Actually, stormy would have made it much fairer (is that a word?) Not foul? See #1. Strike three.

5 : marked by impartiality and honesty : free from self-interest, prejudice, or favoritism
Ever looked around at the judging of exhibits and wondered how in Hades they came to those conclusions?? I sure have. Strike four (yeah, I know the three-strikes-you're-out analogy doesn't work if you go beyond three strikes but just go with it. I'm tired.)

And, to add one of my own, fair as in temperate weather.
No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! On Sunday evening we had to be at the fairgrounds at 5 p.m. for our 4-H club meeting. It was 106 as of that time. Read back a few posts to see my opinion of temperatures in the one-oh-anything range. They are less than favorable. It was one-oh-plus every day of this year's fair. Strike five.

So, five to one, in my oh so humble opinion, fairs should not be called "fairs". What should they be called. Man, don't ask me. Didn't I say I was tired? Gimme a few days and maybe I'll come up with something.

BUT, on a positive note, the boys had a good "fair". Here are the results of their entries:

Foods –
Lane – Apple Nut Muffins – SUPERIOR BLUE
Levi – Gingerbread Sour Cream Muffins – BLUE

Craft –
Levi – Bird Trap (hard to describe but I'll be taking photos later!)– SUPERIOR BLUE

Plants –
Lane – Croton – SUPERIOR BLUE and RESERVE CHAMPION

Photography –
Lane – Two BLUES and two REDS
Levi – Two SUPERIOR BLUES, one BLUES and a RED (including two Spotlight Awards)

Rockets –
Levi – SUPERIOR BLUE
Lane – BLUE

Photography Judging –
Fair judging contest:
Levi – 1st place
Lane – 2nd place

Overall (averaging the highest scores from 2 out of the 3 county contests for this year)
Levi – 1st place
Lane – 3rd place

So both boys will be going to the state fair to judge and taking one or more of their purple ribbon entries. If you want to see their photos, I’ve uploaded them to my Epson site:
http://albums.photo.epson.com/j/AlbumIndex?u=4007675&a=30295653&sp=25
They are the last 8 ones on this page. You can go back to page 1 to see previous years’ photos if you care to.

I can honestly say there's one thing about a fair that can be called "fair". The ending. It's one of those things that I enjoy seeing come, but enjoy seeing it end even more.

2006-08-01T21:23:00.000-06:00

I need a dose of Mumps

David, of The Daily Mumps (link at right), appears to have gone on vacation. Or an extended business trip. Or the asylum from dealing with four personettes. Wherever he is, he needs to get his butt back to work and update his site! Hey, I'm not the one that named it the DAILY Mumps, now am I? Is there no truth in advertising any more? Is there no reliability? Is there no David out there thinking solely of ME and the fact that I might be missing me some mumps?

Sheesh. The things we get addicted to.

David, if you're out there somewhere, you've created a habit in at least one cyber stalker and making me go cold turkey is, well ... cold.

(Seriously, I hope things are fine with you. But I do hope you get back to updating your site some day.)

2006-07-28T23:12:00.000-06:00

A sunny day for two boys

Levi loves cats. He wanted one for ages. We finally got one. She's turned out to be snotty, aloof cat. We've always allowed her to come and go outside as she pleases. She's mostly out unless it's really cold. She doesn't need us much.

So Levi wanted a nice cat. One of those that will actually come up to you and ask to be petted. Heck, I'd kind of like to have one like that myself. We love Twilight, but affectionate she ain't.

I told Levi a while back that we'd let him adopt a kitten for his birthday. That falls the day before school starts so I decided to take him today to look. Wanted him to have the critter for a little while before he returns to school so he'll have a little time to bond with it.

Off to the Humane Society we went. The first one that caught his eye was a little orange one who was trying desperately to crawl out of the cage to him. We (Levi, Lane and I) all played with him and all liked him. Since I had urged Levi not to be too impulsive he also played with an orange and white one, a grey and white one and a grey adult. He still went back to that first, little orange one. Lane and I both wanted him to pick the orange/white one but he was firm that the orange one was the one for him.

Levi adopted him. And named him Sunny.

Levi made a good choice. Sunny has been so affectionate. He seems to love to be petted. He also loves to play. Before going to the Humane Society we stopped at Wal Mart for a new litter box, cat house (you know what I mean) and toys. Sunny loves his house and his toys (and finally used his litter box, much to my relief). It's so gratifying. I hate when you get them stuff like this and they never look twice at it. But Sunny loves his new stuff. And we love Sunny.

Ty, our dog, is reserving her opinion. She'll chase our current cat if she'll run and ignore her if she won't. She's checked Sunny out but doesn't seem to care about him one way or another. Twilight, our current cat, is SO not happy about Sunny's presence. She gets away from him then growls and hisses. We'll have to keep an eye on her.

Levi and Sunny are now snuggled up in Levi's bed for the night. They looked awfully cute when I tucked them in. Not only is Levi tickled with his new kitten, but I feel like we did a good deed in rescuing that kitten. It was a sunny day for both of them.

2006-07-27T22:39:00.000-06:00

Thanks, Mother Nature. I take it back.

Woke this morning to an overcast sky and NO wind whatsoever! Lane was up so I quickly woke Levi and told them both to hurry and prepare their rockets for launching. It took a little while as we ran into a construction snag - something done wrong that had to be fixed. Finally got that done and went flying to the high school soccer field - a good, wide-open place to launch. Shoot. Someone was spraying the field. All this time there are occasional sprinkles and the sky is threatening to dump on us at any moment. Just for the record, rocket engines and igniters do not mix well with water.

Went flying to the other end of town to another set of soccer fields. Held our breath with each launch. That's always a heart-stopping moment between when the boys press the launch button and the time the rocket actually lifts off. Whew! They both worked. Well, sort of. Levi's had two engines, side by side. Only one engine ignited so it went up about 200' then turned sideways and flew horizontally about 500'. Oops! Oh, well. The rules only state that they have to be launched. They don't say a word about them flying vertically!

Problem is, I think I prayed too hard for the rain to hold off. It's been cloudy all day and we've seen nary a drop since launching.

Guess I should have been more specific. Do you think I'd get struck by lighting if I prayed for the rain to start now after praying for it to stay away all morning?

I'd better not risk it.

2006-07-26T22:31:00.000-06:00

I'm gonna kill him and tell God he died

Lane was wanting to air up his bicycle tires this evening. He was looking for an air pump but I told him to use the air compressor. I showed him how to do it. When he was done, I told him to turn the little red valve back to the off position.

He said, "Why?"

I said, "Because I said so."

He said, "But you don't know anything. You're a woman!" And then gave me the world's biggest cat-that-ate-the-cream grin.

Lucky for him airing up a bicycle tire doesn't require the use of a tire iron. If it did, I probably would have picked it up and beaten him with it.

Then, to add insult to injury, I came inside in a huff and told his dad what he said. Steve burst out laughing.

As long as I'm murdering the kid, I might as well throw the dad in for free.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Just for the record, Levi was wise enough to keep his mouth shut.

2006-07-26T10:03:00.000-06:00

Mother Nature, you fickle bitch

Fair time is quickly approaching. The boys enter rockets. Those rockets you have to built from scratch. Let me tell you, if you've never built one of these, they are time consuming! Very. And this year both boys built harder rockets so they took longer. One requirement of entering them in the fair is that they have to be launched. Well, the boys finished construction on Monday. They were going to let them set up for 24 hours so we'd be ready to launch on Tuesday. It's been strangely calm here for weeks. And calm is good since those puppies can float for a long way even on a calm day. Therefore, launching on a windy day creates the risk of losing the rocket. A lost rocket can't be entered.

But it's been calm. Until Tuesday, that is. Since the rockets have been built, it's been windy.

Go figure.

2006-07-25T22:52:00.000-06:00

Where'd he get those genes?

Levi is going to run cross country in the fall and needed a physical. I HATE the free physicals the schools give since they check very little. We're lucky in that the kids are rarely ever sick so almost never have to go to the doctor. I decided to take him in to the doc for his physical plus a complete check-up. He'll be 13 in a few weeks. He is now 5'5" tall and weighs 89 lbs. He is in the 95th percentile on height and the 25th percentile on weight. Can you say bean pole? He certainly doesn't take after me physically. He must get that from his dad.

That and his moodiness.

The brilliant intellect? Now THAT he gets from me.

2006-07-20T22:34:00.000-06:00

Hell Fire and Damnation

It's hot. It's damned hot. 109-degrees today. One-oh-anything is way too hot for this girl. Actually, I don't care for much over 80 but I can stand it up to around 95. One-oh-freaking-nine is NOT acceptable. Especially when one adds the humidity. If I'd wanted a sauna, I'd have gone to the gym. See me? See me NOT at the gym?

Only two and a half months till October.

2006-07-14T23:07:00.000-06:00

Wow. It's really true!

I hate, hate, hate to clean house so have always joked that I'm allergic to housework. But I think it may actually be true! I cleaned house today. Cleaned it to within an inch of its life. The whole darned thing. Oh, I clean it at other times but never all at once. I usually compartmentalize so I can stomach doing it. Not today. One end to the other - top to bottom.

Shortly after I finished, Steve and I ran some errands. We were gone for about two hours. Within five seconds of walking in the door, I had a sneezing fit. I sneezed around 10 times in a row. I'm never a machine-gun sneezer. Two times, three, tops. Not tonight. Since then, my eyes have been watering, my nose itching and running with occasional sneezes thrown in for fun. I've never had an allergy attack come on so fast! I think my system just couldn't handle the entire house being clean at all once.

I'll never make that mistake again.

2006-07-13T08:12:00.000-06:00

"Noise is the most impertinent of all forms of interruption. It is not only an interruption, but is also a disruption of thought."
- Arthur Schopenhauer

The busy, noisy hey-what-are-you-doing-what's-for-dinner-come-look-at-this-I'll-go-with-you-so-I-can-drive one came home yesterday. And he brought all of these characteristics home with him. He really enjoyed his trip and getting away from all of US for a while. Huh. Go figure.

He changes the whole dynamic of the house just by coming home to it. Upon his return, our house went from sedate to static. It's like the rest of us are the pond and he's the stone that gets skipped across it, leaving little rings of energy spreading out in all directions.

Do me a favor and don't tell him, but we kind of missed him.

2006-07-11T22:48:00.000-06:00

Oh, yeah. THAT was a good idea

I know you're probably getting sick of hearing about psycho sister-in-law but, since this is kind of my place to blow smoke, here I go again ....

Remember her last huge blow-up because I had the audacity to do some work for MIL without her and thus cutting her out of earning a few bucks? The premise was that she and BIL owe MIL so much money that she needed the work. (That much is true, at least.)

She e-mailed me today ... SO happy. They've had problems with the lender on their car loans. He is an idiot so I can't fault her there. They were finally able to refinance their house and add the car loans to it so they could get away from idiot lender. Yahoo! Wise not only to get away from him but also rates on home loans are lower than consumer loans so they'll be saving money. Right?

Nope.

Since they were refinancing anyway, they borrowed extra money so they could build a deck onto their house. Their ranch-style house. Which is flat on the ground. Soooo, let's add a few thousand dollars of debt that we desperately don't need to have as we can't pay all our bills as it is so we can build a deck, oh, a foot off the ground.

Yeah. Great freakin' idea.

Do you ever just want to slap the shit out of someone??

2006-07-09T17:53:00.000-06:00

"Silence is the true friend that never betrays."
- Confucius

Hear that? It's the sound of quietude. After experiencing it today, I remembered that I had heard it before. Long ago. Before we had kids.

The busy, noisy, in your face, hey-what-are-you-doing-what's-for-dinner-come-look-at-this-I'll-go-with-you-so-I-can-drive one left on a four day Youth Leader's trip this morning. That leaves me home with only the quiet one.

*sigh*

I'm so sad.

2006-07-08T08:51:00.000-06:00

Blog-napped...

While catching up on other people's blogs this morning I came across this on Denise in CT's blog (who copied it from cmmomofmany). Like Denise said, I get a lot of the surveys but rarely do them. This one seemed a little different so I'll play!

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4 and write what it says.
Narcissus in Chains by Laurell K. Hamilton - "He gave me directions and I read them back to him." (Exciting, huh?)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
The extra computer monitor that my @(*%& husband brought home from work and Lane immediately hooked up so we can have two monitors showing the same thing. Yeah, I can see the need for that!

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
A M*A*S*H rerun.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
9:30 a.m.

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
9:53 a.m.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Nothing at all. Both boys are gone and Steve is still sleeping. No sounds here but the whirring of the tower fans and the clicking of the keyboard. There aren't even any outdoors sounds filtering in. The neighbors must all be sleeping in.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
About 20 minutes ago ... taking a smoke break.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Denise in CT's blog

9. What are you wearing?
My favorite green cargo pants, white tee-shirt (anyone who knows me could have guessed THAT) and my green crocs. I'd normally still be in jammies but when Lane gets off work soon I'm gonna drag him to some garage sales. He'll be thrilled.

10. Did you dream last night?
Yes, but I don't remember any dreams. Got to bed way too late and woke up way too early. Slept really hard in between.

11. When did you last laugh?
Last night was a good laughing night ... had dinner with "the girls" and we had a lot of laughs - mostly margarita-driven. Then had coffee with some of the girls in my family and we had a lot of laughs there, too. The former is typical ... the latter is not.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
One side has tons of family pictures, mostly of the boys. The other has my cowboy art.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Yeah, a couple of days ago Lane and I were driving down main street and I saw a guy standing on his porch playing an accordion. That was a bit odd.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
It's pretty fun. At least it's different from all those "what is your favorite color" ones.

15. What is the last film you saw?
At the theater - "X-Men; the Last Stand"

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
First: a new truck for Steve. Second: mother-in-law's ranch

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.
I've been having a bit of trouble with my MS flaring up lately. Haven't told anyone I know. Other than that, probably nothing. If you know me in person you know I'm pretty much an open book.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
For the world, end prejudice of all kinds. For me, teach everyone MANNERS!

19. Do you like to dance?
Heck yeah! Haven't done it in quite a while, though

20. Comment to George Bush:
I think you're trying to do the right thing (even though that hasn't always worked) and not just the popular thing. I admire that.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Had I had one, she would have been Brady Loren. Brady because we liked it and Loren was my grandmother's middle name.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
He was. He is Lane William. Lane because we liked it and William was his grandfather's first name.

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Sure

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gate?
Not sure what I think He would say but I'm hoping, at the very least, He'll look over His ledger, shake His head and say "Come on in anyway."

25. 3 people who must also do this quiz in THEIR blog:
No one I know IRL. Maybe some of the other SSers who blog surf the roll will want to add it

2006-07-08T08:35:00.000-06:00

Uh-oh. Here we go again!

Lane and Levi were playing a game in the family room last night. I was in the kitchen not far from the open door. I heard them discussing strategy. It's always great to hear them actually talk to each other and not bitch at each other so I enjoy listening in a bit.

Then it hit me.

Levi's voice is changing.

Oh, no. Here we go again!

2006-07-03T11:31:00.000-06:00

My Up and Down Saturday

Spent the morning with my stomach in knots. I honestly felt a little sick. Cameron's funeral was at 2:00. I knew it was going to be hard. Hard doesn't even begin to describe it. I think I started crying before the service even started. I was okay until I noticed that they had a stand down front holding his electric guitar and his best AC/DC t-shirt ... two of his favorite things in the world. The service itself was nice. At one point, the pastor said he was going to sit down and, if anyone wanted to come up and say something about Cameron, they were welcome. That was very poignant. Cameron's Dad spoke first. The tears flowed freely for me then. I even spoke a few words. I debated doing it but, when faced with circumstance where I want to do something but chicken out, I always regret it. My legs were shaking so hard I wasn't sure I could climb those two little steps to the podium, but I did. I thought the family might think it was odd that someone they don't even know was speaking. Cameron's Mom and Dad are the only ones I've ever met and they don't know me well. But that's why I wanted to talk to them. I wanted to tell them that we always found it a pleasure for Cameron to visit. The boys have some friends that make me cringe just knowing they're coming over. Not Cameron. Never. He was always well-behaved, fun to have around and was even nice to the little brother. I just wanted his family to know that there are people they never even met that thought he was pretty special.

When the service was over, we came home, changed clothes and headed to a cookout to celebrate July 4th. That was a bit of an abrupt gear-changing. Carol bought a new house and wanted to having everyone over for a cookout since she now has the space. It really was a nice afternoon and evening. We just sat and visited, played croquet and horseshoes, and visited more. I think if it had been one of those boisterous, happy-type parties, I wouldn't have been in the frame of mind to handle it. But it was low-key enough to be just the ticket. In a way, it was a gentle reminder that life goes on.

I'm still praying for Cameron's family. Cameron's Dad said that Cameron had accepted Christ and he knew without a doubt that Cameron was now in heaven with his God. I hope that thought brings them some little bit of peace in these next weeks and months.

2006-06-28T21:31:00.000-06:00

Rhyme? Reason? Where?

Today's been a pretty rotten day for me. And, trust me, I know that sounds selfish. Imagine how Cameron's poor mom feels! Well, that's why it's been such a rotten day. I can't stop imagining how she's feeling. How can a mother possibly survive something like that? I know they do. I know they do it every day. I just cannot imagine how.

I've had complete strangers walk up to me and tell me that I'm going to die because they see me smoking. Well, they're almost assuredly right there! I assume they mean die of lung cancer. Maybe. Maybe even probably. Then again ...

My sister-in-law's uncle died of lung cancer two short years after he quit smoking. Interestingly, it was not the kind of lung cancer you can get from smoking.

A good friend John lost his wife to cervical cancer. She was 35. Didn't smoke, didn't drink, ate well and exercised daily.

Lane's 14 year-old friend just died even though the prognosis for his full recovery was originally good.

Where is the rhyme or reason in any of this? I know I sound whiny. But I feel pretty whiny.

The good news is that Lane seems to be coping fairly well. He's had a few tears today but that's perfectly natural. The funeral will be hard. Who am I kidding? The funeral will be a nightmare.

This is one of those days where one keeps asking 'why'? But there never are any answers, are there?

2006-06-28T07:39:00.000-06:00

Dear God.

On June 14 I blogged that Lane's good friend, Cameron, had found out he has leukemia. http://dianasioux.blogspot.com/2006/06/so-you-think-youre-having-bad-day.html

He passed away this morning from complications from the surgery and treatment. I just got the news. I'm reeling. I cannot quit crying. Lane doesn't know yet. I have to go pick him up from work soon. How do you tell a child something like that? Because, 6' tall or not, working man or not, he is still a child. And so was Cameron.

Anyone who is so inclined, please, please keep Cameron's family and friends in your prayers. They will need them.

2006-06-28T07:05:00.000-06:00

Well, a guy's got to collect something, right?

Last night I was using the guy bathroom. And I'll just interject here that is something that I try NEVER to do. Unfortunately, Steve goes to bed way before I do and my bathroom is open to our bedroom. Don't want to wake him with that flush so I'm usually forced to endure their bathroom once a day. But I digress ....

When I was washing my hands I noticed that they've amassed quite a collection of toothpaste in the little basket I've provided them for storage of such items. Seven. There are SEVEN tubes of toothpaste. For three guys. WTH? Admittedly, one of them was donated by me and, in all probability, two of them. Since Colgate quite making the kind I like, I've been on a search for a new toothpaste that tastes good. I'm very picky. I'll try a tube and, if I don't like it, I put it in their basket knowing that Steve is not picky and will use whatever is available. Still, that leaves five other tubes. For three guys. Lane and Levi each have a particular kind they like so that leaves three different tubes just for Steve.

Oh well. I guess there are worse things they could be collecting.

2006-06-26T21:37:00.000-06:00

When good jobs go bad

You know how sometimes something that should be a relatively simple job ends up being way, WAY more than you bargained for? That's how my recent "brilliant" idea to fix up my porch ended up going.

First, the cement was all stained and icky looking. Second, it gets slicker than whale snot (and, I'm pretty sure that's really, really slick) when it's wet. So I decided to stain and texture it. Simple, right? Yeah, sure. It should have been, but ....

I washed the porch all squeaky clean in preparation for staining. Then gave it a day to dry (per the instructions of Mr. Sherwin Williams as concrete absorbs water.)

By now, there is rain in the forecast. Waited a day.

Now the wind was blowing. REALLY blowing. Not only blowing, but blowing cottonwood seed so thickly that it looked like it was snowing. Well, I didn't want a porch that looked like one of those preschool-made lambs with cotton balls stuck all over a piece of constructions paper, so I waited.

Days went by.

Now the porch is all dirty again from the wind blowing in dust and cottonwood seed. Washed it down again. Waited another day.

Ya-HOO! A day that is not rainy, not windy and between the recommended temperatures of 60-90 degrees. (Anyone live in Kansas? Anyone know how rare a day like that is here??) I got two coats of stain on. It looked great!

Life briefly interfered so it took a couple of days before I could get to the sealer. Still, the porch was pretty clean and just a good blow job with a leaf blower prepped it for the sealer.

Start sealing. Do a strip of about 2' by 6'. Uh-oh. Is it supposed to turn orange?? Methinks not. Stop working.

Next day, go see Mr. Sherwin Williams. After some detective work on his part he finally deduced that *I* bought oil-based sealer to go over water-based stain which is, apparently, a no-no. Um. No. Actually, YOU SOLD me the wrong sealer. I was the one in here a couple of weeks ago asking what I needed to pretty my porch.

Armed with a free can of the correct sealer and instructions to go home and sand the part that turned orange (and a bit of a pissy attitude that I was going to have to sand), off I went.

Break out the sander and the coarsest sandpaper I have. Sand. And sand. And sand. Hmmm. Apparently sanding cement sealer has only slightly less effect than using an emery board would have on a diamond.

Sherwin Williams is now closed and so, I assume, that Mr. Sherwin Williams has gone home for the day. Hit Ace Hardware and plead my case. After being treated like I was slightly stupid for trusting Mr. Sherwin Williams (but, to be honest, he's never steered me wrong before) I am sent off armed this time with a can of extra-strength stripper.

A few notes about extra-strength stripper:
1) It burns the flesh
2) It burns the nose hairs when inhaled
3) It, mixed with the sealer you're trying to remove, turns into super glue and adheres permanently with anything it comes into contact with including skin. (See note #1)

After about two hours work on roughly 12 square feet, I got most of the orange off.

Washed the area down with bleach water, per the instructions of Mr. Ace Hardware cramming old towels along the edge of the porch to hopefully soak up the bleach and keep it from running in to the bed killing my recently planted flowers and thus adding serious insult to injury.

Let dry.

Re-stain the areas that I stripped.

Spend a few days doing other things.

Wash down the porch again since it's gathered all new dirt and bugs since the last washing.

Realize that the un-sealed stain has acquired stains. And, by stains, I mean ugly, dirt-type stains and not pretty paint-type stain.

Do some touch-up staining.

[At this point, you may notice that I have refrained from sharing any of the comments or special words that I have been saying throughout this ordeal. I'm trying to keep this, at the least, a PG blog. I'm sure you can imagine, though.]

Start rolling on the new sealer. Stop and say a few of those words I'm keeping myself from sharing. The first (wrong) batch of sealer was about the consistency of paint, but clear. In fact, it looked a lot like clear fingernail polish. The new (supposedly right) sealer is both the color and consistency of watered-down milk. And it turned foamy when rolled on. This can't be right!?!

In a fit of pique I cover the whole porch with this mess thinking that I'm doing it, I'm not stopping and if it is the wrong stuff than Mr. Sherwin Williams is going to have his ass (sorry, a girl can only resist for so long) out here tomorrow with a sandblaster and HE is going to be re-doing it!

Huff off.

Come back outside about an hour later. Wow! What do you know? It dried clear and actually looks pretty good! Do a second coat. It also dries clear. And it still looks pretty good.

Soooooo, (no making this long story short) it's now all done. And I finally got all my house plants moved to the porch, which is their summer home. And it still looks good. So, was all the hassle worth it?

I don't know if I'd go that far.

2006-06-24T11:29:00.000-06:00

I'm addicted to soft-core

Soft-core literature, that its. Not porn. Although .... Never mind. Too much information. Hmmm. Where was I? Oh, yes!

I'm addicted to light-weight literature. (Maybe that's how I should have worded it to begin with?) Anyway, my latest craving is for the Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter books by Laurell K. Hamilton. (Thanks, Dotti. Lord knows I needed another excuse to avoid laundry!) My little sister loaned three of them to me. I'm only on the second one but realized quickly I had to read the rest of them so bought four more yesterday.

These books will never make the recommended reading list for high school Lit students. But, man, are they ever fun to read. Very little thought required. And isn't that nice at times?

I know people who are literature snobs. They won't read it unless it is "literature". Dang. Don't you think these people miss out on a lot of fun? Good literature does have its place and I do enjoy reading it as well. But isn't life deep enough at times? There are days that adding deep reading material would be just too much for this simple girl. Give me some fluff on occasion!

Speaking of fluff, that brings to mind another bit of written cotton candy that I crave .... Stephanie Plum. Book twelve just came out. I've got to get to the library and get my name on the waiting list for this one. The Stephanie Plum books are even airier than the Anita Blake books. But that's part of what I love about them.

So, you literature elitists can look down on me if you like. But, try to remember that the definition of novel is "new and not resembling something formerly known or used". So try something new. Try reading a book that melts in your intellect nearly the instant you bite into it, but leaves a faint, sweet taste in your memory.

[Note: The Anita Blake books are not for those who are squeamish. They're about vampires, werewolves, zombies and other "monsters". While they aren't scary at all, they can be rather graphic, especially in the places where Anita is investigating a murder. The details are easily skipped over, though.]

2006-06-20T22:48:00.000-06:00

Life in the Passenger Seat

Lane has now had his driver’s permit for a sum total of 18 days. I wish I could say I had acquired only a sum total of 18 grey hairs because of it, but I’d be lying if I did. It’s not that he’s a bad driver necessarily. Just a … um … very, very new one. For the most part, he really does a good job. But then there’s his quirks.

For starters, and it’s not really a quirk, but he wants to go every place I go now. Every. Single. Place. With school out we’ve got an awful lot of togetherness as it is. Now I can’t even escape for a peaceful, solitary stroll down the grocery store aisles any more. Anyone with a new driver will attest to said driver’s willingness, nay eagerness, to suddenly accompany Mom on literally any errand. So they can drive, of course.

And then there’s the speed. Not high speed. Oh, no. sometimes I wish it were. He drives like an 80 year-old woman. I get to the point where I just want to shout GO!!! But of course I’m supposed to be instilling good habits. Speeding is not one.

On the other hand, there is one location in which he is all too willing to drive fast. Corners. For someone who is very timid on the straightaways, he’s a demon on the corners. He denies it, but I think his driver’s ed instructor challenged the kids to see if they could get Mom’s minivan up on two wheels when cornering.

Then there’s the all-over-the-road thing. Most of the time he drives right down the middle of his lane like a good little boy. On the highway, when a car is approaching from the opposite direction, it makes him nervous and he squeezes the edge of the road. This makes Mom nervous and makes Mom squeeze the seat. And I don't mean with her hands. I think there’s a permanent ridge in the leather now. Or, at times, he just oozes over and drives Pac Man-like right down the dotted line. I can almost hear the ‘chomp, chomp, chomp’.

What has really surprised me in this whole adventure is discovering that he’s got octophobia. It never manifested itself when I was driving. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a little-known fear of stop signs. It has to be a phobia as he always stops about 10’ back from one. He can’t really see into the intersection to check for traffic from where he stops, but his phobia forbids him from getting closer.

And, to top it off, they practiced “emergency braking” today in driver’s ed. His eyes literally glittered with joy when he explained it to me and told me he didn’t know you could stop that fast. I really think he’s just dying for a dog or a small child to run out into the street in front of him so that he can slam on the brakes in my van without repercussions.

And I’m suffering through all of this for what? So he can ask to borrow the car every Saturday night?

God. Help. Me.

2006-06-19T08:46:00.000-06:00

Interesting postion

No, you perverts. Not THAT kind of position! Sheesh.

Lane and I went to the Juneteenth Festival in Ponca City this past Saturday. I had heard of it, but never gone. We went because BIL Jeremy was playing in a reggae band performing that night. We wanted to see him and see him play.

"Juneteenth is the oldest known celebration of the ending of slavery. From its Galveston, Texas, origin in 1865, the observance of June 19 as the African American Emancipation Day commemorates African American freedom and emphasizes education and achievement."
from The Ponca City News.

This, naturally, meant that it was primarily attended by African Americans. Having lived all my life in small towns, which usually have smaller minority populations, I've never been in the position of being the minority. And Lane and I were the extreme minority here. It was a little odd at first. Not really uncomfortable. Just odd.

I think it was a good lesson for both of us in how those of minority races often feel in "our" midst. We found a table and shared it with a couple of ladies. We had a little conversation, made friends and listened to the band. It was a good evening, all around.

I did not, however, think this might be the time to mention that I have discovered that I'm coloured.

2006-06-18T09:21:00.000-06:00

He Hibernates

Levi must have been a bear in a former life. My reasons for deducting this are thus:

1) He has a very bear-like attitude at times. A pissed off mama bear protecting her cubs has nothing on Levi when he hasn't eaten and his blood sugar is running low. He could rip your head off with one verbal swipe.

2) He hibernates. Not just in the winter, though. He's a very non-discriminating hibernator, season-wise. He actually hibernates more in the summer since he has more opportunity to do so. After all, in the winter, he's got school and all. But in the summer .... It's not unusual for him to go to bed at 11 or 12 and sleep until noon the next day. You'd think after a number of successive 12-hour sleeps, he'd catch up. He hasn't yet. One day I expect him to go to bed and not wake up until the seasons change. If this ever happens, I'm gonna sell the story to The Enquirer. I can see it now: Half-boy, Half-bear Discovered Living in Kansas!!

2006-06-16T07:47:00.000-06:00

Ouch. That kinda hurt.

The boys do rocketry for a 4-H fair project. They needed to get their rocket kits so they can get started as these can be fairly time consuming. Yesterday we went to the big city of Wichita. Their big Hobby Lobby has more selection than our smaller one so I wanted to get the kits then. Problem ... they aren't on sale. Hobby Lobby usually puts them on sale sometime in the summer but I really didn't want to wait for that. They DID, however, have a 40% off coupon. One per customer.

Our summer budget is pretty tight. Lots and lots of extra kid-related expenses. I really hated to pay full price for both as they totalled up to about $40. Hmmm. Well, technically, the boys are different customers, right? These rockets are for them, after all. Soooooo, I gave them each a $20 and a coupon and sent them through different lines.

Then I felt guilty. Ugh. Is this what they call "painfully honest"? I mean, I don't think Hobby Lobby will have to file bankruptcy because we used two 40% off coupons in one day. But I still felt bad. Does that make me an upstanding citizen? Or just an idiot?

2006-06-14T08:50:00.000-06:00

So you think YOU'RE having a bad day?

Sometimes I really let life's trials get to me. And then, every once in a while, something happens to slam me back into reality.

I've been irritated with SIL's drama queen antics the last few days. I've been letting it bug me. Plus had some other irritations and was feeling a bit grumpy.

Yesterday one of Lane's friends called and asked if he wanted to go with them to see another friend, Cameron, in the hospital. Lane did. He didn't know why Cameron was in the hospital as he hasn't talked to him since school let out.

It's leukemia. He's 14.

You know, my SIL may drive me nuts and my yard may be pissing me off, but at least I don't have to go take my kid for his chemo today.

Kind of puts things into perspective.

2006-06-13T22:20:00.000-06:00

A Gentleman and a Gentle Man

I heard Bob Brown described that way this evening. And it couldn't be more fitting. Robert A. Brown passed away on June 8th. His funeral was tonight. He was 93. This is a man who came into a small, family-owned bank in one small town in Kansas. During his administration, he grew it to a three-state, ten-location enterprise. I am amazed at the fact that a man can have lived so long and have built such a large business and there is not a single person who can find a bad word to say about Mr. Brown. And that's what most people called him. Not that he was stuffy or remote and one didn't feel comfortable calling him by a more casual name. They called him Mister because he deserved the title of respect.

Actually, if I think about it, I'm not surprised that no one has anything negative to say about him. I had the privilege of knowing the man. I wish I had known him better. I have heard him described in terms like ... shrewd, determined and a human business barometer. And yet he was considered to be unfailingly kind, generous, caring, giving, gracious and always a gentleman's gentleman. Even in the course of guiding his bank to multistate status, he never lost the human touch.

When my time comes, I will be very fortunate if people think even half so well of me as the world thought of Bob Brown.

He will be sorely missed.

2006-06-12T09:15:00.000-06:00

Little Big Man

You know, it’s one thing to know your kids are getting big.
It’s quite another to be confronted with solid evidence.

This weekend, Lane -14- wanted to know just exactly how big he’s getting.

6’ even
214 pounds

Oh, and I just had to buy him new shoes.

14 E

God save me!!

2006-06-11T22:42:00.000-06:00

Psycho SIL Strikes Again

It's a proven fact. My sister-in-law is nuts. Purely freakin' insane. See my previous Drama Queen post for further proof. And now she's done it again.

MIL wanted us to paint her living room. SIL and I painted her family room together in March. SIL spent the entire weekend bitching about having to do it (even though we were getting paid.) She and BIL mow MIL's lawn and all summer long I also have to listen to her bitch about traveling (45 minutes) to MIL's to mow.

So, I was at MIL's this weekend. I had the paint. I had the time. SIL had told MIL the day before that she had a terrible, terrible sunburn. So, trying to be nice, I didn't call and ask her to come help. It was one room. Something I could easily do myself and spare her the pain of both working with a burn and having to spend yet another weekend at MIL's.

Guess who got royally pissed when she found out I painted without her? It seems she *wanted* to help.

I guess she's mad because she missed the opportunity to have something to bitch about.

Oh, wait. She does. She can bitch that I didn't call her.

I guess either way I was gonna make her happy.

I just bring sunshine wherever I go.

Update 6/12/06 - SIL is still ranting and raving about this. Now she feels "betrayed". All because I was cruel enough to do some work without her. I'm such an ass.

Update on update 6/13/06 - SIL called this morning to discuss this. After a GRUELING two-hour conversation, she decided she may have overreacted a bit. Gee, ya think? As Claire Fraser would say .... Jesus. H. Roosevelt. Christ.

2006-06-04T22:31:00.000-06:00

the daily MUMPS

You have GOT to check out this blog: http://dailymumps.com/

I don't even remember who recommended it to me, but it's hysterical. Those poor kids. They'll be scarred for life. Well, once they're old enough to read what Dad's written about them, that is. But then, I have the sneaking suspicion that, by then, they'll know he's a lunatic.

Thanks Dave, for your permission to post this. I don't know about my very few readers, but I'll be checking in regularly.

2006-06-04T09:10:00.000-06:00

Discovery of the day ….

I’m coloured.

Yeah, I know. You’d think I would have figured that out before now, huh? And I do know that we Americans spell it colored but the Aussie ladies on SS say coloured and I like that better. And, in this instance, I think it fits better.

I think us “whites” actually had it right when we started calling “black” people “coloured”. Problem is, we stopped there. We didn’t extend that description to include ourselves. I mean, have you ever seen a truly white person? Even albinos have a pale pink shade to their skin. Have you ever seen a truly black person? No. Even the darkest black is not black. Honestly, I think seeing a truly, completely black person would scare the crap out of me. Then again, seeing an absolutely white person would scare the crap out of me, too. But I read too much Stephen King so never mind me.

Have you ever seen a yellow Chinese? Have you ever seen a red Indian? Nope. Nope.

No one is actually the colours we describe them by. Or did, before we got so PC.

We’re ALL coloured. Even amongst a single race/colour there’s a huge spectrum of shades. And then there’s those of us who change colours with the seasons. Primarily those of us formerly known as white.

I think the next time I have to fill out a form that asks for race, I’m going to write in “coloured”. Wonder what kind of response I’ll get?

2006-06-03T08:24:00.000-06:00

Holy Gators, Batman!

If you live anywhere in southern Kansas or northern Oklahoma, be afraid. Be very, very afraid. Keep your children at home. If you must venture out onto the streets, do it cautiously. Stay ever alert. Stay ever vigilant.

Lane got his driving permit today.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!

[I will post a photo later but all they give at the time is a temporary paper permit. The real one will come in the mail later. The paper one looks like a grocery store receipt. Somehow that doesn't hold quite the same photographic eloquence.]

And, on an unrelated and yet related, subject ... I got my first pair of Crocs yesterday. Women all over the county (via Scrap Share) have been recommending them to me. Twenty thousand scrappers can't be wrong, can they? I took the plunge. I came home with these. The world's absolute ugliest shoes. The experts were right, though. They are darned comfy.

Damn. Now I'm going to have to buy some other colors.

Oh, and Lane calls them Gators. Now I'm calling them Gators. So I'm going to keep calling them gators, because I think it's funny and these ones are kind of gator-colored, and one day I'm going to say that in front of someone else and they're going to think I'm an idiot.

Oh well.
What else is new?

2006-06-01T06:45:00.000-06:00

You want fries with that?

I made a startling discovery last night. Well, not so startling really. If I had thought about it for, oh ... half a second, I probably could have come to the conclusion without having done the experiment. The conclusion is that I am NOT cut out for a job in the fast food industry.

Lane is in 4-H Junior Leaders, a service organization. Jr. Leaders runs a food stand for two major events in our area - the Country Round-Up and the Bluegrass Festival. This is our first year to be involved. It's Round-Up time now so Lane and I did our first shift in the food stand last night.

For starters, it was hot. I don't really "do" hot. And the food stand isn't air conditioned.

For seconders, I somehow got stuck running the big ole fry vats cookin' up chicken strips and French fries. Standing over huge pools of boiling grease isn't foremost of my list of fun things to do. And the fry vats are right next to the burger grill which is also kicking up splatters of grease and great waves of heat.

Did I mention that the stand isn't air conditioned?

All in all, it wasn't a bad experience. I only got burned (luckily, mildly) about 18 times and only bonked my head on the overhead vent hood about 47 times. I was too busy to wonder why there is actually a hood when there's no working vent under it. I'm thinking there's some sadistic gnome watching from a hidden location keeping track of how many times the human idiots smack their heads on an overhang that is completely useless. But that's just a guess.

Plus, my favorite pants are now covered in grease spots. Why did I wear them? Well, that's a darned good question. I'd like to claim it was the head injury that led to that particular decision, but I dressed before that occurred. I really have no good excuse.

But the good news is that I get to go back and do it all over again on Friday night!! Whee!! I'm formulating a game plan, though. Last night was my first time so I waited for someone who appeared to be in charge to tell me what to do. Friday, I'll barge in like I know what I'm doing and claim an area. That cash register was looking pretty darned good.

2006-05-30T10:04:00.000-06:00

Ah, the lazy, hazy days of summer

School's out here now. Time for those lazy days of summer one hears so much about on the commercials for patio furniture. I remember summers as a kid being fairly lazy. In fact, so much so that I was glad when school came 'round again. What a difference a generation makes. I'm not sure when my kids are going to be lazy this summer. Off the top of my head, they have .....

Weight lifting class, four days per week, one hour each for two months. I'll probably only take them two days.

Levi will do swimming lessons four days per week for two weeks (maybe four).

Levi will do summer orchestra five days per week for two weeks.

Lane's in driver's ed class every day this week for three-and-a-half hours. Then he'll have driving times later.

Lane will have a Junior Leader's trip of four days.

We'll take a three to four day trip.

I want to take them to Oklahoma City at least for a day to do some photo taking downtown (Murrah Building memorial, botanical gardens, Bricktown).

Our lawn needs mowed weekly. Lane is mowing a neighbor's yard weekly. We'll mow my mom's lawn every other week.

I need to go to mother-in-law's and paint a room for her.

There are two different photography judging contests the boys will participate in.

Around and about all of these things there are their 4-H projects to get ready for the fair. Some of them, like the rockets, will take some time.

Lazy days of summer?

My ass.

2006-05-29T22:59:00.000-06:00

Am I really??

Can this really be me? I have to say that, whenever I do those surveys where they tell what kind of whatever you are, they NEVER match my personality. I have to think about this one, though. To be honest, I'm not sure that I object!

You Are Scary!

You Are Scary

You even scare scary people sometimes!

How Scary Are You?

2006-05-29T21:07:00.000-06:00

In honor of ....

Today is Memorial Day. My family never did the big go-to-the-cemetery-and-decorate-graves thing. Then again, we never had any relatives buried nearby. My mother-in-law has always made a big deal out of visiting the graves of her family. Even more so now that father-in-law has gone. And there's nothing wrong with this. By all means, remember your loved ones.

But I think many people forget that Memorial Day originated in 1868 to commemorate those who died in the Civil War. It has since become a day to honor all US service men and women, especially those who have died serving their country.

So, in light of that, I'd like to take a moment to honor some of my family's military .....

My nephew Josh and his wife Tina, both Army medics.

My brother, Steve, National Guard.

My sister, Debbie, who did a short stint in the Army.

My Dad, Charles F. Juckes,
who died last Valentine's Day,
Marines

3rd Recon Company

Circa 1954

Grandpa (Dad's Dad)

James K. Juckes

Army

This is either my Granduncle
or great Granduncle
(not sure which!!)

Thomas Juckes

Also, Dad's brother James W. Juckes, Mom's brother Paul H. Schofield, Mom's Dad Austin H. Schofield and many, many cousins, uncles and various other relatives.

To all of you, thank you for your service. I'm very proud to be descended from such as you.

2006-05-26T22:02:00.000-06:00

The boys done good

We've just finished another school year. And a very good one it was, too. I feel so fortunate to have bright children. If you have a middle schooler, you know that the slam of choice at this age is "retard". Ugh. I won't allow my kids to use that word. I hate it. I've pointed out to them that their intellectual abilities are nothing more than an accident of birth. Parents with high IQs have challenged children all the time. They just hit a lucky roll of the dice in the biological crap shoot. Nothing more.

Still, I'm glad they got lucky.

Lane achieved 3.75 GPA honor roll, Academic Excellence (maintaining a 95% or higher the entire term) in Computer Science and Language Arts and the President's Education Award for academic excellence (maintaining a 3.5 or higher GPA for the entire middle school career).

Levi achieved 4.0 GPA honor roll, Academic Excellence in Science, Language Arts and Social Studies, and 529 AR points.

Dang. It's nice to have such smart kids. Makes a mom feel pretty darned proud of them. And of herself. After all, those ARE my genes at work.

And then ....

Lane asked me what's for dinner? Meatloaf. Five minutes later .... Mom, what's for dinner? Honey, what did I tell you just FIVE minutes ago??

I told Levi that I had bought him two new pair of shorts and I wanted him to try them on before he took the tags off. Okay? OKAY? Levi, what did I just say to you? Ummmm. That I need to take my clean clothes off the dryer and put them away.

And Mom comes crashing back to reality. Then again ....

Steve called earlier. What are you doing? Buying Lane some shoes. At Wal Mart? No, we're at Stage. Oh, okay. See you soon. We get home. He asks what kind of shoes Lane got. Nikes. At Wal Mart? Ummmm, no honey. Where did I tell you I was buying them when you asked me? Oh, right. Stage.

Apparently the latter behaviors are Steve's genes at work.